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Brokenheart
This alliance has disbanded as of June 4, 2008. More information is available here.
Auxiliary Army
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/Auxi/flag-1-1.png
Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. But for Auxiliary Army... they will always remain drunk.
Color Team Purple
Government Anarchy
Current President None
Official Language English
National Anthem Start Wearing Purple

History of the Auxiliary ArmyEdit

The alliance was founded by Tala Lang of Great Aurelysis (now Wet N Wild) on February 7, 2007, based on the principles of cooperation, respect and defense.


The BeginningEdit

On February 26, 2007, the Charter of the AA, known as the Declaration of Anti-Pants along with the alliance flag were ratified and on that same day, AA made an announcement on the CN forums of their existence. At this moment, the alliance had 19 members.


Cabinet IEdit

Tala's Presidency, March 5, 2007 - April 6, 2007:


Vice President: Scoochi2 of Pengwiniah

Alliance Security: Waszzer of Waszzer

Finance: Q Thews of North Rushaa

Foreign Affairs: Vacant

Immigration: Purple Iron of Blue Blessed Dolphin

Interior: Xiangi of Xiangi

Defense: Lord Vakalas of Morrowind


- March 13, 2007: The very first treaty, known as the Treaty for Exchanging Pants as Token of Amity was signed, with Phoenix Police Force (PhPF). On this same day, the Lesbian Porn Show with Free Seating Pact was signed, with the Global Confederate Nations (GCN).

- March 15, 2007: The AAFDF-Pact was signed, with The Foreign Division (TFD).

- March 18, 2007: The Sergeant Pepper Parlay was signed, with the People who Eat Tasty Animals (PETA).

- March 23, 2007: Leadership Council (LC) was attacked by a group of organized rogues, and AA defended them. Some days later, the rogues declared peace with the LC and shifted their focus to the AA. PhPF, TFD and Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations (CSN) assisted AA in the war against the rogues. Later, the New Order of the Valiant Alliance (NOVA) and Sacred Order of Freemasonry (SOF) joined in to help the AA.

- March 28, 2007: The very first legislation of the alliance was passed, the official alliance cookie, which is the Pantsless Gingerbread Woman. On this same day, Tala declared a spam war on Valhalla, but the actual war date was to take place later.

- April 2, 2007: The spam war started at 12:43 PM Central US Time. AA was behind Valhalla by about 3K posts.

- April 3, 2007: The spam war ended at 2:19 PM Central US Time. AA made 10,007 posts and Valhalla got 7,945 posts. AA member Gottsmik got a total of 4,056 posts on that day.

- April 5, 2007: Provision of Amnity between Nations Treaty was signed, with the Templar Knights (TTK). And yes, we know Amnity was misspelled, but the diplomat from TTK refused to change it so we kept it.

- April 6, 2007: The Honorary Membership Title Document was passed, and the Treaty of Free Beer Exchange was signed, with the MCCF. The treaty was later transferred to the MCXA.


Cabinet IIEdit

Xiangi's Presidency, April 7, 2007 - June 28, 2007:


Vice President: Purple Iron of Blue Blessed Dolphin

Alliance Security: Waszzer of Waszzer

Finance: Q Thews of North Rushaa

Foreign Affairs: Tala Lang of Great Aurelysis

Immigration: Maddog93 of ComunistThird World

Interior: Duke DYP of Whiskey Drinkers

Defense: Hellfirereborn of Legion


- April 9, 2007: Peace was declared to all the rogues.

- April 19, 2007: MDP talks started with AA, Cool Rats And People (CRAP), PhPF and V.F.D.

- April 15, 2007: New fad in the AA, buttsecks avatars!

- April 22, 2007: The Treaty of Amazingly Nice Chums was signed, with Guns of Glory (GoG).

- May 5, 2007: The Treaty of the Buttsecks Train was signed, with CSN.

- May 5, 2007: The Juniper Pact was signed, with MERK.

- May 14, 2007: The Viciously Fun Doctrine was signed, with V.F.D.

- June 1, 2007: The bi-monthly election was forgotten.

- June 16, 2007: The Conjoint Allies Pact, the MDP among AA, CRAP, PhPF and V.F.D. was put to vote.

- June 19, 2007: The revised version of the Declaration of Anti-Pants was ratified, and the late election started.

- June 24, 2007: Marcus93, leader of the rogues from the last war regrouped and attacked AA members Dnafein and Noust.


Cabinet IIIEdit

Tala's Presidency, June 29, 2007 - August 9, 2007:


Vice President: Q Thews of North Rushaa

Finance: Sareya of Kurohyou

-Deputy: Stryder88 of Oceania

Foreign Affairs: Duke DYP of Whiskey Drinkers

-Deputy: FluskinTuskin of Tyrania

Immigration: Maddog93 of ComunistThird World

-Deputy: Darth Tater of Death Spud

Interior: Xiangi of Xiangi

-Deputy: Waszzer of Waszzer

Defense: Rawrasaur of The Sock Empire

-Deputy: John Winthrop of Massachusetts Bay

-Deputy: Comrade Suds of Mingrad


- June 29, 2007: Treaties with GCN, PETA and GoG are cancelled.

- July 5, 2007: The Alliance Security Agency dissolved.

- July 9, 2007: The Rapid Reaction Force (RRF) of the AA was formed.

- July 13, 2007: Kids in the Sandbox Pact was signed, with Random Insanity Alliance (RIA), and the Treaty of the Cool Valley was signed, with Invicta.

- July 14, 2007: AA hosted a CN Alliance Elimination Game. The last alliance standing will get a date with the hosting alliance.

- July 17, 2007: The Military and Economic Allowance Treaty was signed, with Atlantic Shadow Confederation (ASC).

- July 18, 2007: The seven rogues who attacked the AA are now on the alliance's permanent ZI list.

- July 19, 2007: The Conjoint Allies Pact was finally signed by all the alliances.

- July 21, 2007: TFD won the date with AA. The actual date will take place on a later day.

- July 27, 2007: Purple’s Ultimate Pact of Pure Yes! was passed by the Auxiliary Army.

- August 9, 2007: Arizona Ablaze Pact was signed, with the Purple Alliance of WIN (PAW).


Cabinet IVEdit

Tala's Presidency, August 10, 2007 - September 12, 2007, Duke DYP's Presidency, September 12, 2007 - October 13, 2007:


Vice President: Duke DYP of Whisky Drinkers

Defense Council: Rawrasaur of The Sock Empire

Defense Council: John Winthrop of Massachusetts Bay

Defense Council: Comrade Suds of Mingrad

Diplomatic Council: Gottsmik of Antverpia

Diplomatic Council: Xiangi of Xiangi

Interior Council: Q Thews of North Rushaa

Interior Council: Waszzer of Waszzer


- August 11, 2007: Proposal to turn the current AA departments into 3 councils (Defense, Diplomatic, and Interior) and remove the secretarial positions. The new system was implemented, but not added to the Charter until September 5, 2007.

- August 16, 2007: PAW merged into Invicta, nullifying the Arizona Ablaze Pact.

- August 27, 2007: V.F.D disbanded, nullifying the Viciously Fun Doctrine.

- September 3, 2007: The Panda Drinking Songs Treaty was signed, with the Global Democratic Alliance (GDA).

- September 7, 2007: The Conjoint Allies Pact and the treaty with PhPF are cancelled.

- September 12, 2007: Tala Lang resigns from Auxiliary Army. Vice President Duke DYP becomes the President.


Cabinet VEdit

Gottsmik's Presidency, October 14, 2007 -

Vice President: Q Thews of North Rushaa

Defense Council: John Winthrop of Massachusetts Bay

Diplomatic Council: Duke DYP of Whisky Drinkers

Diplomatic Council: Xiangi of Xiangi

Interior Council: Gnomebard of Silent Bard

Interior Council: Rodric of Kingdom of the Isles


- October 23, 2007: The Ooie-Gooie-Rich-and-Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie Treaty was signed, with the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).

The EndEdit

On June 1, 2008, a discussion was opened about what to do with the alliance. United Purple Nations and Invicta have both been trying to get the alliance to disband and go to them. So the members have agreed to disband on June 4 and head over to Invicta.

Treaties of the AllianceEdit

This will contain all the treaties the alliance had ever signed.


Treaty for Exchanging Pants as Token of AmityEdit

Preamble

In a desire to promote friendly relations between these alliances, the Phoenix Police Force and the Auxiliary Army mutually agree to the following terms.


Article I

No Member of either undersigned alliance may declare war against another member nation within the other alliance. Any nation caught violating this rule must immediately declare peace and pay reparations to the attacked nation or face expulsion from their alliance. Reparations will be negotiated between the leaders of the two alliances or their designated representatives. Failure of the alliance to expel a member caught in violation of this rule may be considered grounds for the revocation of this treaty.


Article II

No member of either undersigned alliance may provide foreign aid to any nation currently in a state of war with a member of the other alliance. This rule may be waived by the alliance being attacked in the event the aid constitutes war reparations where non-payment would endanger the members of the alliance not under attack.


Article III

This treaty shall neither compel nor forbid the undersigned alliances from providing military or economic aid to one another in times of peace or crisis.


Article IV

If at any time this treaty is to be revoked both alliances must be made aware 3 days in advance.


The following representatives pledge to bring their respective alliances into compliance with the terms of this Treaty.


For the Phoenix Police Force,

Rudyy, Lord of the Phoenix


For the Auxiliary Army,

Tala Lang, President

Scoochi2, Vice President


Lesbian Porn Show with Free Seating PactEdit

A friendship pact between the alliances of Global Confederate Nations and Auxiliary Army.


Preamble

This pact is signed in good faith, and is based upon the noble ideals of friendship and cooperation common to all of us. It is signed not only in the pursuit of peace, but in the hopes that Global Confederate Nations and Auxiliary Army will work together to actively pursue a better future and to ensure that cooperation will take the place of violence and rash aggression.


Article I: Non-Aggression

The members of Global Confederate Nations and Auxiliary Army will not commit acts of espionage or declare war on each other, or provide any form of aid to the enemies of the other without their prior consent.


Article II: Assistance

Global Confederate Nations and Auxiliary Army are not obliged to assist each other in the times of need, but they are both highly encouraged to do so as a means of building and expanding upon already friendly relations.


Article III: Respect

Members of Global Confederate Nations and Auxiliary Army will treat each other with as much respect and decency as they would show one of their own members. Healthy debate and discussion as well as constructive criticism are not restricted, but alliance members are expected to show tact and consideration by going through the proper channels when addressing a concern.


Article IV: Withdrawal

If Global Confederate Nations and/or Auxiliary Army feels that this pact has been unjustly violated and diplomatic negotiations have not offered any sort of resolution, they have the right to withdraw from the pact and must notify the other alliance within two days.


Signatures:


Global Confederate Nations:

maxydine - Chancellor

Skylinex2 - Vice Chancellor

camleish - Minister of Foreign Relations

Barefoot Toast - Minister of Defence

King GKA - Minister of the Treasury


Auxiliary Army:

Tala Lang, President

Scoochi2, Vice President


The AAFDF-PactEdit

Preamble:

The document recognizes the relation between Foreign Division and Auxiliary Army and is an agreement to uphold the ideals of friendship and cooperation.


Article I: Non-Aggression

The members of Foreign Division and Auxiliary Army will not commit acts of espionage or, declare war on each other, or provide any form of aid to the known enemies of the other without their prior official consent.


Article II: Assistance

Foreign Division and Auxiliary Army are not obliged to assist each other in the times of need, but they are both highly encouraged to do so as a means of building and expanding upon already friendly relations.


Article III: Withdrawal

If Foreign Division and/or Auxiliary Army feels that this pact has been unjustly violated and diplomatic negotiations have not offered any sort of resolution, they have the right to withdraw from the pact and must notify the other alliance within two days.


For the Auxiliary Army:

Tala Lang, President

Scoochi2, Vice-President


For the Foreign Division:

Tamurin, President

Phil, Minister of Pies

chickenx, Minister of Finance


The Sergeant Pepper ParlayEdit

A TOA with the AA (Acronyms are fun!)


Now, when the Minister of Foreign Affairs asked PETA's writing staff to whip up a Treaty of Amity, the idea was met with confusion. Hadn't the Charter banned useless acronyms? But, after the food was cut off and a visit to the AA’s forum was made, the writer got cracking. Whether or not have oppressed, half-starved, and delirious people craft this has yet to be decided.


Section I (of V) According to our twenty year old dictionary, amity has something to do with friendship. Or serial killers. Either way, in the spirit of peace and prosperity, members of People who Eat Tasty Animals (PETA) and the Auxiliary Army (AA) will not engage in acts of war upon each other. These acts include but are not limited to:


-Attacks upon the opposite alliance's nations. -Verbal assaults, in public, private, and any other communications known to man.


The Golden Rule reigns supreme. Lets see some decorum. Anyone who breaks this rule will be taken out back to the woodshed and beaten till the candy pops out. In addition to the piñata treatment, the nation at fault will be made to repay the damages dealt.


Section II (of V) With peaceable relations established, things need to be taken a step further. There are those in the world that enjoy attacking anyone and everyone within reach. Even worse are the multiple conspiracies that run rampant, eager to take away our very livelihoods with their insidious machinations. In the event that a nation or group of nations unloads a few militaristic pimp slaps, both the AA and PETA pledge to step forward and defend the other. For the sake of safety, the offenders will be summarily whipped and in extreme cases, given nuclear suppositories.


Section III (of V) Now, we all agree to come to each other's defense, so information is needed if that situation ever comes about. PETA and the AA promote the open exchange of information between the alliances. If there’s a problem, a heads up is asked for so no one wakes up to find their capitol burning, the nation in the fiery grips of anarchy. Simply put, if someone manages to get themselves centered in the gun sights of another alliance, tell the other alliance. Posteriors will need to be bid fond farewells. And even though it should be a given, spying is still a bad thing. We'll drag out the thumbscrews if need be, understand?


Section IV (of IV) Finally, the special conditions: The AA is require to bring food to any and all PETA BBQs. In return, PETA, as a whole, will go without pants, as is the custom in the AA forums. Ah, politics.


Section V (of V) Sadly, nothing gold can stay. While Frost was a miserable drunk, problems do come up. Perhaps PETA can't handle the free spirit and whimsy that drives the AA. Maybe the AA will go vegan and become disgusted by the carnivorous tendencies its ally endorses. If such things do come to pass, a forty-eight (48) hour period of negotiations will go into effect. If these negotiations fail and new terms cannot be agreed upon, the Sergeant Pepper Parlay will be declared null and void.


Signed for PETA


The Grand Dragon of PETA – psycho19mn

The Fourth Reich of PETA – Judgmentmonkey

The Fifth Reich of PETA – Obraskai

The Reich Chancellor of PETA – JamMastaJeff


Signed for AA


President - Tala Lang

Vice President - Scoochi2


Provision of Amnity between Nations TreatyEdit

After agreeing to revise TTK's standard NAP, the writer of this Treaty threw out everything in the NAP and drafted something completely different. This document will be known as the Treaty of Amity between the alliances of Auxiliary Army (hereby referred to as AA) and The Templar Knights (hereby referred to as TTK). Whether or not it has anything to do with friendship, that isn't our business. I think.


In the First Article,

Members of AA and TTK will not attack each other for whatever reason it may be. Everything will be solve diplomatically with a few bribes here and there. Sex bribes are, of course, more favored by the nations of AA. Just in case a member (or more) of AA or TTK does attack the other alliance's member(s), said member(s) will be taken to the Lutonstan House for the Illiterate because apparently, they didn't know how to read that's why they attacked... so anyways, while there, they will learn how to read and handwrite this Treaty one hundred times. After that, they will pay reparations. If the attacking member(s) refuse to do so, their ass(es) will be kicked out from their dead secksie alliance.


In the Second Article,

Members of AA and TTK will not disrespect each other. If they do, they will be forced to work as a slave to the member they dissed. If they refused to be enslaved, they will be dragged while kicking and screaming to the Pengwiniah Hospital for the People who Disrespects and while there, they will pretty much learn not to diss anyone anymore. If they failed to learn, they will be transferred to a place far, far away. We don't know where yet.


In the Third Article,

If members of AA or TTK are at war, the other alliance cannot aid the outside party (attacker or attackee of the AA or TTK member(s)) in any way, shape or form. If caught, their first born child will be given to Lanna's Azure for breakfast. I'm not lying. So be smart and contact your alliance leaders.


In the Fourth Article,

Members of AA and TTK will not spy on each other especially not when the other is in the shower, taking a bath or changing their clothes. If caught spying, the spy or spies will be forced to walk in the street naked for a few days and permanent ownage to their nation. As for the alliance of the spy or spies, well... they will get their butts pwned and this Treaty will be terminated automatically unless the spy or spies acted on their own without their alliance's knowledge.


In the Fifth Article,

Both alliances are encouraged to help each other in times of peace or crisis as a means of building and expanding upon already friendly relations.


In the Sixth Article,

Either alliances are required to host a spam party in their embassy once a month. If AA spammed more than TTK by the end of the day, TTK will stop wearing pants for a month. If TTK wins, AA will spend a month searching for the Holy Grail. Whether AA finds it or not, that doesn't matter, just as long as they tried.


In the Seventh Article,

We come to realize that time changes and so do people... and their alliances, sadly. If the love between AA and TTK diminished, both alliances are to try and rekindle their affection for each other before ending their relationship. Break up must be done face to face. No phone or email. After the break up, both alliances will have twenty four hours to reconsider their decision and save their relationship. If the hours passed and both alliances really do feel like it's time to move on, this Treaty will be officially null and void.

Signed for TTK

Grand Master: PanThePiper

External Perceptor: jedisoccerplayers

Internal Perceptor: Mandystalin

Elder Council:

DirtyHarry

King George III

Nikolaos

Syzygy


Signed for AA

President: Tala Lang

Vice President: Scoochi2


The Treaty of Free Beer ExchangeEdit

  • Treaty was transferred to MCXA.

I. Preamble:


Wh00t, baby! Rock me harder!


II. Friendship:


MCCF loves AA.

AA loves MCCF.

We won't attack each other.

We will not make each other cry.

We will help each other, if possible.

Anyone who violates this Treaty will not be invited to the parties.

MCCF will come to the parties without pants.

AA will come to the parties without spam.


II. Party's Over:


AA needs 24 hours to cancel this treaty.

MCCF needs 24 hours to cancel this treaty.

Cancellation must be done face to face.

No phone or email.


Signed for the MCCF:


SAM

Minister of Foreign Affairs

Vice President


LusitanCenturion

Diplomat

Brigadier General


Signed for the AA:


Tala Lang

President


Scoochi2

Vice President


Treaty of Amazingly Nice ChumsEdit

This document will be known as the Treaty of Amity between the alliances of Auxiliary Army (hereby referred to as AA) and Guns of Glory (hereby referred to as GoG) because we say so. Whether or not it has anything to do with friendship, that isn't our business.


In the First Article,

Members of AA and GoG will not attack each other for whatever reason it may be. Everything will be solved diplomatically with a few bribes here and there. Sex bribes are, of course, more favored by the nations of AA. Just in case a member (or more) of AA or GoG does attack the other alliance's member(s), said member(s) will be required to handwrite this treaty 100 times and pay reparations. If they refused to do so, they will be dragged while kicking and screaming to the back door where they will be spanked until they agree to the terms.


In the Second Article,

Members of AA and GoG will not disrespect each other. If they do, for whatever reason it could be, they (the disser) will be required to send the other person a bouquet of red roses and $1K worth of chocolate! Should they refused, they will be sent to Colmonkey's nation where they will have to wash his feet every day until they agree to the terms.


In the Third Article,

Members of AA and GoG cannot aid the enemies of the other in any way, shape or form. If caught, their first born child will be given to Lanna's Azure for breakfast. I'm not lying. So be smart and know who you're aiding.


In the Fourth Article,

Members of AA and GoG will not spy on each other especially not when the other is in the shower, taking a bath or changing their clothes. If caught spying, the spy or spies will be forced to walk in the street naked for a few days and permanent ownage to their nation. As for the alliance of the spy or spies, well... they will get their butts kicked and this Treaty will be terminated automatically unless the spy or spies acted on their own without their alliance's knowledge.


In the Fifth Article,

Both alliances will help each other as much as possible. If AA starts to wear pants, GoG will steal all the members of AA's pants. If GoG drop their lunch on the ground, AA will buy the members of GoG new lunch.


In the Sixth Article,

Both alliances agree that they are both amazing, and will know to respect that fact, cause it is indeed a fact, AA and GoG will strife to be better amazingly awesome friends and not punch each other.


In the Seventh Article,

We come to realize that time changes and so do people... and their alliances, sadly. If the love between AA and GoG diminished, both alliances are to try and rekindle their affection for each other before ending their relationship. Break up must be done face to face. No phone or email. After the break up, both alliances will have twenty four hours to reconsider their decision and save their relationship. If the hours passed and both alliances really do feel like it's time to move on, this Treaty will be officially null and void.


Signed for the AA


President - Xiangi

Vice President - Purple Iron


Signed for GoG


His Royal Thickness, Co-President

Astroz, Minister of Foreign Affairs

Crowdog, Minister of Internal Affairs

Colmonkey, Minister of Defense


Treaty of the Buttsecks TrainEdit

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/8057/csnaaflagwn8.png


Preamble

This piece of electronic paper is drafted after the exchange of pants in good faith and is based upon the noble ideas of superior Auxiliary Army (hereby referred to as AA) and Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations (hereby referred to as CSN) awesomeness level and its benign willingness to share their ideas and knowledge with each other. In order to improve our relations with CSN, the AA promises to bring butt-secks and Xiangi's cookies to its door so we can strive towards a future of love and cooperation. Peace is the best time to accomplish this so this is a testimony to serve peace in a world of violence, foreign aggression, and bad oral hygiene.


Article I – AA and CSN

The sages of AA and CSN have decided in an instant revelation to name this token of intercourse as the Treaty of the Buttsecks Train. This document is of course ratified by both alliance's seal of awesome.


Article II – War =/= Cool

In the interest of friendly relations, to declare war by one of a certain alliance upon another of the other alliance is prohibited. Should a certain situation arise where a former state of affairs is interrupted and replaced by the next state of affairs –being war- between two or more members of the alliances, the leading intelligentsia of both will strive to force both to peaces. If one of the combatants refuses to lay down their pants, they shall face the fury of their own leadership. The big brasses of both alliances will then begin a ceremonial dance of red tape to decide upon the matters of who will pay what damage. If one alliance decides to insult the other one by not imposing a disciplinary punishment, this infraction of the fair play can be used to send this treaty to the toilets.


Article III – Helping the Enemy of our Friends, Makes Us an Enemy as well

A member of any alliance has its hands tied to this act of friendship and to send cookies to a nation which is engaged in mortal deadlock with an unfortunate member of one of the cool alliances is prohibited. Exceptions can discussed over a good cup of warm coffee and/or Samuel Adams. Always a good decision.


Article IV – This is Anti-Spy Land Now!

From now on spying each other is to be considered not cool anymore and certainly not in the interests of further friendship. When a spy is caught and ample evidence is shown, a disciplinary committee has to be formed to punish the cheeky bugger by its own alliance. Should the latter choose to raise its middle finger as an insult to the former by not punishing the rascal; the Treaty will must definitely send to the toilets. Should the spy in question admit to work on behalf of the alliance, the Treaty will be used as toilet paper within seconds.


Article V – Friends are not Obligatory Allies

Though both alliances probably like to help each other with cookies, beer and favours, war is still not considered to be cool enough to absolutely compel one to automatically back-up the other in a war. Thus one of said awesome alliances will not be forced to help the other in war, but may choose to assist them through aid and/or military assistance.


Article VI – Rules to Stay Friends

Being best buds asks dedication and certain virtues to be taken in account by both alliances. Respect is won best by showing respect to each other. Since we will be friends anyway, discussion and different opinions will be tolerated to the extent of being able to respect the many differences which there will be between the two alliances. Teasing on the playgrounds to make one cry will not be tolerated by any member, no matter how cool he or she is with the other kids. Just be excellent to each other!


Article VII - The Special Term

All who wish to visit each other must do so via Sheck's Buttsecks Train. If any attempt to smuggle themselves into the other's home any other way, be it through jumping the fence, FedEx, or removing part of one's body and sending it as a present, the offender will feel the wrath of the Buttsecks Train in the one way it knows how.


(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>^(>O_O)>


Article VIII – Our Own Ways

If for any reason one of the alliance don't like the other anymore, a marathon negotiation will start which will last for 48 strokes of the bell. If by the last stroke, our relations will have suffered a stroke the Treaty of the Buttsecks Train will be nullified and declared void. Its new purpose will be to fulfill its destiny of cleaning the butts of members.


Signatures


Signed for the Commonwealth of Sovereign Nations,

Head of State

GinotheRoman


Deputy Head of State

Benjamin Arouet


Prime Minister

Azure


Minister of Foreign Affairs

IronSoldier820


The Senate of the Commonwealth

Marine

Kesselring

MyKillMyers

Juggernaut

King Sin

Allied_Threat

GoWFanatic

Jakeinto


Signed for the Auxiliary Army,


President

Xiangi


Vice President

Purple Iron


Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Tala Lang


Juniper PactEdit

This document will be known as the Juniper Pact between the alliances of Auxiliary Army (hereby referred to as AA) and MERK, because we said so. Whether or not it has anything to do with friendship, that isn't our business.


In the First Article,

Members of AA and MERK will not attack each other for whatever reason it may be. Everything will be solved diplomatically with a few bribes here and there. Sex bribes are, of course, more favored by the members of AA. Should a war arise between two (2) or more members of both alliances, the aggressor will be required to handwrite this treaty one-hundred (100) times and pay reparations. If they refused to do so, they will be attacked until they comply.


In the Second Article,

Members of AA and MERK will not disrespect each other. If they do, for whatever reason it could be, they will be required to make a public apology. Should they refused, they will be sent to a land far away.


In the Third Article,

Members of AA and MERK cannot aid the enemies of the other in any way, shape or form. If caught, their first born child will be given to Lanna's Azure for breakfast. I'm not lying. So be smart and know who you're aiding.


In the Fourth Article,

Members of AA and MERK will not spy on each other especially not when the other is in the shower or changing their clothes. If caught spying, this Pact will be terminated automatically unless the spy or spies acted on their own without their alliance's knowledge—and the if so, the spy or spies will be destined for permanent ownage by both alliances.


In the Fifth Article,

Both alliances will help each other as much as possible. Though Military and/or Monetary aid, if they so choose (not required).


In the Sixth Article,

We come to realize that time changes and so do people... and their alliances, sadly. If the love between AA and MERK diminished, both alliances are to try and rekindle their affection for each other for forty-eight (48) hours. If the time requirement passed and both alliances really do feel like it's time to move on, this Pact will be officially be declared null and void.


Signed,


AA Officials:

Xiangi, President

Purple, Vice President

Tala Lang, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Gottsmik, Very Important Spammer

DYP, Very Important Spammer


MERK Officials:

Craken, Commander and Chief

Stealth Helmet, Minister of Diplomacy

Mr. Dickey, Minister of War

Baka Kun, Minister of the Draft


The Viciously Fun DoctrineEdit

In the interests of Peace, Pantlessness And All That, the V.F.D. (hereafter referred to as the V.F.D.) and the Auxiliary Army (hereby referred to as the AA) agree to the following terms, in an effort to achieve their respective goals of a Quiet World and a Pantless World.


Article 1- Asking each other for something

In the words of Lemony Snicket, “We can ask for justice, and we can ask for a handkerchief. We can ask for cupcakes, and we can ask for all the soldiers in the world to lay down their weapons and join in a rousing chorus of ‘Cry Me a River’ if that happens to be one of our favourite songs.”


The V.F.D. hereby asks the AA for a handkerchief. The AA hereby asks the V.F.D. for cupcakes. The other two things that can be asked for can’t be remedied with a Treaty of Amenity, so we’ll all leave that for another time.


Article 2- Non Aggression

The AA and the V.F.D. hereby agree not to be aggressive to each other, which here means “They will not do anything nasty to each other, like attacking them, spying on them, aiding each other’s enemies and/or mothers, or forcing each other to wear pants if one of the parties does not wish to.”


Article 3- Being helpful to each other

The V.F.D. and AA agree to at the very least think about helping each other if one of them gets into trouble in some way. However, they are not specifically obliged to unless they happen to sign another document which does oblige them to be helpful.


Article 4- The article with no name except the one you are currently reading, presuming, of course, that you can read, although if you can’t read it may become quite difficult to read it anyway so why did it take so long to say that?

The V.F.D. hereby promises to give the AA lots of cupcakes. The AA hereby promises to give V.F.D. a handkerchief. And both the AA and the V.F.D. hereby agree to love each other for ever, which here means “Even if this pact is cancelled, which would of course require a 48 hour warning from the cancelling alliance along with a suitable reason.”


Signed,


For the Auxiliary Army:


Xiangi, President

Purple, Vice President

Tala Lang, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Gottsmik, Very Important Spammer

DYP, Very Important Spammer


For the V.F.D.:


Hamish Heil, Duke and self-proclaimed all-round nice guy

Rainn Iceberg, Premier Candidate

red eyed dragoon, Premier Candidate

Leib Omali, Premier Candidate


The Conjoint Allies PactEdit

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/CN/CAFlag2.png


The signatories of this treaty pledge to uphold justice to all the alliances of the signatories.


Article I: Non-Aggression

Section 1. No signatory alliance may attack another signatory alliance member at anytime, if this occurs, the violating member(s) must pay reparations, or be expelled from the alliance, and never be retaken by any of the signatory alliances.


Article II: Governance

Section 1. Council: TMC Consist of three (3) members from each signatory alliance. The council will have no power to create laws, with the exception of amendments to this treaty. The council will be in charge of determining actions of war. All signatories must agree to follow the decisions of TMC.


Section 2. Treaty Amendment: Any member may propose an amendment to the Treaty and TMC will convene to vote on the amendment. The amendment needs at least three-fourth (3/4) of the votes of the council to go into effect.


Article III: Defense

Section 1. If any of the signatory alliances are attacked, TMC will convene and immediately vote to determine what action(s) must be taken by the alliances, including, but not limited to, whether to wage war.


Article IV: Alliance Disputes

Section 1. Mediation: If two or more signatory alliances are unable to resolve a dispute that concerns them, then they may bring it to TMC for mediation. One of the alliances involved in the issue must bring it to the council and ask for mediation and the others must agree to it. If the other alliances involved do not agree to mediation, then TMC will not mediate. The council will convene and appoint someone to mediate the dispute. The mediator will be responsible for discovering the core problem of the dispute and help resolve it.


Section 2. Arbitration: This can be invoked if mediation fails and only after mediation has been tried. If two or more alliances are unable to resolve a dispute that concerns them, then they may bring it to TMC for arbitration. One of the alliances involved in the issue must bring it to the council and ask for arbitration and the others must agree to the arbitration and the decision of the arbitration. If the other alliances involved do not agree to arbitration then the council will not arbitrate. The council, less the representatives of the alliances involved in the dispute, will convene and allow the alliances to present information about the dispute. After all of the alliances have presented information, TMC will make a decision. All of the alliances involved in the dispute are bound to abide by the decision.


Article V: Alliance War

Section 1. Signatory alliances may not enter an alliance war without permission from the council. If at any time this happens, the violating signatory must not be supported via aid or actions of war and be removed from this treaty. If a signatory alliance provokes an alliance war, but does not start it, then the case will be left down to the individual alliances to decide, without help or influence from TMC.


Article VI: Espionage

Section 1. No signatory alliance may engage in spying of any kind against another signatory alliance. To do so warrants dismissal from this treaty. Punishment will be decided upon by TMC, and a fair trial will be given.


Article VII: Other Pacts

Section I. An alliance may join this Pact if they are in another Pact so long as there is no conflict of interest. An alliance may join another Pact if in this one so long as there is no conflict on interest. Conflict of interest will be determined by TMC after reviewing the other Pact.


Article VIII: Addition of New Alliance

Section 1. A new alliance may request to join the Pact so long as they have relations with all the current signatory alliances and the council votes them in unanimously.


Article IX: Cancellation

Section 1. If any signatory alliance wishes to cancel this treaty, a 48-hour notice will be required.


Signatures:


Auxiliary Army

Tala Lang, President

QThews, Vice President

Duke DYP, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

FluskinTuskin, Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs


Cool Rats And People

Chuck Normis~Co-founder/Leader

WoodChuk~Co-founder/Leader

ryanryan~Leader


Phoenix Police Force

Slicer845695, Lord of the Phoenix

Tehol, Lord of the Phoenix

yoleaffan, Lord of the Phoenix


V.F.D.

Hamish Heil, Duke and Minister of Foreign Affairs

Rainn Iceberg, Premier

Leib Omali, Vice Premier


Kids in the Sandbox PactEdit

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/Auxi/RIA-AA.png


Preamble:

This Treaty is written with a high expectation of lots of random insanity activities to come and that both the alliances of Random Insanity Alliance (RIA) and the Auxiliary Army's (AA) friendship and partnership in spamming will only continue to grow as high as the beanstalk in Jack and the Beanstalk.


Article I: Peace

Both of the alliances will continue to promote a peaceful and friendly relations with each other. RIA and AA will build a playground together. AA will provide the sandbox and swing sets while RIA will provide the monkey bars and slides. Members of both alliances will play with each other kindly. There will be no pushing one so hard that he or she will fall off a swing or steal one's bucket while they are building a sand castle. Should a member of one alliance makes the member of the other alliance cries, the leaders of both alliances will come together at the Treehouse of Love and bribe each other with goods and services. When the deal is sealed, all members of both alliances must go back to spreading peace among each other in the playground.


Article II: Intelligence

If one of the alliances see a stranger stealing goodies from the other alliance's snack pack, that alliance must catch that stranger and take him to the other alliance along with the stolen goodies. Should an alliance not do this, this treaty will be declared, "property of the sand."


Article III: Aid

If one alliance falls flat on their face while they were playing on the monkey bars or wherever, whenever or however, it is the duty of the other alliance to help the fallen alliance up to their feet and walk them home.


Article IV: Cancellation

If one of the alliances feel that they no longer need to hold on to the other alliance, they're free to cancel this treaty, provided that they must let the other alliance know that it's over, to stop waiting for them at their "special spot," and hand over all rights of the playground to the other alliance.


Signatures:


Random Insanity Alliance

Moth, Leader

Azural, Head of Foreign Affairs

Kaiser, Head of Internal Affairs

cctmsp13, Economic Advisor


Auxiliary Army

Tala Lang, President

QThews, Vice President

Duke DYP, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

FluskinTuskin, Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs


Treaty of the Cool ValleyEdit

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/Auxi/invicta-AA.png


Preamble:

The alliances of Invicta and the Auxiliary Army consist of very cool nations and so, in the recognition of our coolness and strengthening our diplomatic relations with each other, both alliances agree to the following terms.


Article I: Non-aggression

Members of both alliances will not attack each other or make the other one cry, whether their reasoning is invalid or not. Should such a forbidden act ever arises, the aggressor will not be permitted to attend the weekly Cool Valley BBQ party for two months.


Article II: Party Raiders

One alliance cannot invite the enemies of the other alliance to the Cool Valley BBQ or there's going to be a huge fight between the enemies and the other alliance... and someone will mysteriously steal the beer and not admit it. We cannot let the beer be stolen! Oh, and they can't help the enemies fight the other alliance either or else.


Article III: Spying and Hostilities

There will be no peeping into the others 'private areas' in the Cool Valley. An alliance that receives information on the other alliance special beer brew must report it to the other alliance. Not doing so may result in being kicked out from Cool Valley, which is very bad.


Article IV: With Love

If all hell breaks lose in Planet Bob, the alliances in the Cool Valley agree to aid each other (either financially, diplomatically, or militarily) and make sure that Cool Valley remains intact and pantsless.


Article V: The Pants

Putting on pants in the Cool Valley is a sign of hostility and willl be met with punishments such as not being able to pick out one's favorite BBQ sauce or participating in the BBQ party games.


Article VI: Canceling

If an alliance wishes to leave Cool Valley, they must leave a check-out notice 48 hours, in advance, before leaving. Of course, you must put your pants on before leaving.


Signatures:


Invicta


Co-Presidents

DoubleU

Dawny


Auxiliary Army


Tala Lang, President

QThews, Vice President

Duke DYP, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

FluskinTuskin, Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs


Military and Economic Allowance TreatyEdit

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j276/cmdrChobo/AA-ASC3.png


PROLOGUE:

Our story begins with Bugsy, the Atomic Banana-riding Bunny, tied up on the chair of the diabolical dentist Doctor Doohickey. Unable to free himself because his trusty super belt is in the hands of the Doctor, Bugsy's trusty sidekick Rawrasaur the "Cute-but-Very-Scary" Sausage Dog scurries through town looking for a hero that could save Bugsy. Who Rawrasaur runs into though, is cmdrChobo the chocobo. Through the powers of animal telepathy, Rawrasaur explains the dire situation to cmdrChobo and he suggests the new hero in town, Anne Bonney, The Pantsless Pirate, is just the hero for the job. So the two animals rush to Anne's Pirate Ship and through some means of communication that won't be explained here, Anne rushes to the dentist's office where she proceeds to keelhaul the Doctor and save Bugsy. And with that, Bugsy and Anne become such good friends that they sign this here agreement which is listed below.


Creed I: Non-Aggression

The most important creed, neither Anne Bonney nor Busgy shall take up arms against each other. Superheroes never fight each other, for they are paragons of justice and all that is good. If one superhero ends up attacking the other, then the attacked superhero must assume that an evil force brainwashed the other and must rescue him from the jaws of certain doom.


Creed II: Espionage

Neither superhero may take up the secret identity of the other, for that breaks many many laws of superheroism and is just not good and nice. The superhero with the stolen identity has the right to slap the other across the face with a nice "SMACK", "BOOF", and "BAMBAM". Then that hero must sit in the corner and think about what he done.


Creed III: Aid

If a superhero were to ever need to assistance of another superhero to pay the monthly rent on the apartment, then that hero may use the ASCAA SIGNAL to hail the hero so that he could scrounge up some money to keep his fallen comrade off of the streets.


Creed IV: Intelligence

Because an effective team of superheroes must work together fighting the forces of evil, they should always notify each other if either superhero gains knowledge about any danger to the other from some random villain.


Creed V: The First Adventure of Anne and Bugsy

Our first story begins today, a day like any other normal day that the masses live, in the harmonious city of Steve. They work, go to school, lounge around, and get cupcakes thrown at them. But today is a day unlike any other, for the evil Professor THING! has plans of devious mischief. What does Professor THING! have in store for the citizens of Steve? Lets take a look inside his evil diabolical lair located in the public works building....


"HA! HAHAHAHA! I'VE DONE IT! AT LAST, MY MOST EVIL MANIACAL CREATION! THE INTERNET MEME-O-RAY 3000 IS COMPLETE! And soon, those petty, no good administrators at the university will feel my wrath! They'll rue the day that they terminated me for turning those biology students into unicorns. And all I wanted to do was find candy mountain, but nooooo those fuddy muckraking jerkheads said that I couldn't. Well, I'll show them! Once I hit them with a beam of energy from my meme-o-ray, then they will forever hear and see inside their puny heads Numa Numa, Rick Astley, and god knows what else the interwebs can think of. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA.....!"


Evil, ain't he folks? Who is there in this city of Steve that can stop Professor THING! from turning these esteemed professionals into mindless meme droning zombies? There are only two superheroes that can possibly stop this heinous crime from occurring, and those two heroes are.....ANNE BONNEY THE PANTSLESS PIRATE, with the power of boomerang death scimitars. Getting caught between two of these death dealers will surely bring an end to any villain willing to cross her, especially those that notice her attire!.....AND.....BUGSY THE ATOMIC BANANA-RIDING BUNNY, with the power of producing nuclear fission within his trusty Bananaomatic Belt Buckle. This bunny packs 1.21 jigawatts of pure electrical power that emanates from his hip! Surely these two heroes, along with their trusty animal sidekicks cmdrChobo the Chocobo and Rawrasaur the "Cute-but-Very-Scary" sausage dog, can take down the evil Professor THING! when he springs his plan into action. But that moment isn't now, for we see our heroes sitting in their apartment watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN.


"Why do we watch this garbage, Anne?" exclaims Bugsy. "Yar, ye scurvy bitten rabbit stew of a meal, I be watching poor saps that can't bluff their way out of davy jones locker. Plus, ESPN bought every channel and there is nothing but poker on until those damn Yankees play against the Red Sox this evening."


We interrupt this poker match with this special super urgent news bulletin. The Evil Professor THING! has taken hostage of Professors Shay and Q Thews from the University of Steve. We take you live on location for breaking footage...


"Arr, it be THING! again. I swear by my lack of pants that I will make him dance the hempen jig!"


"Why don't you wear pants anyway?"


"That be not the question to ask now. *Anne grabs some weapons* It be keelhaulin' time. Chobo! Git yer scallywag'in tar feathered beak in here. We gots ourselves a mission!"


"And this looks like a job for my thermo nuclear belt! Now where is that blasted thing....RAWRASAUR! Fetch my belt!


  • Rawrasaur whimpers and scurries underneath the couch*


"Guh! Useless mutt, I'll just have to find it myself...."


  • After a few minutes of digging through his super closet, Bugsy finds his Belt and meets Anne outside.*


"Ahhh, there we go. Time to boogy!"


"Wark...."


"I see you are ready to go as well Anne. Don't you feel a breeze though?"


"Aye I do, but it feels good to get some open air"


  • Bugsy shudders at the thought and lifts off as Anne and Chobo rush towards the university*


Will our heroes make it in time to rescue Shay and Q Thews from the clutches of evil genius Professor THING! Tune in next week....oh wait, wrong format.....will they make it!!! Come on heroes, you must uphold the agreement!


"Kekeke, no they won't stupid narrator, I have the meme-o-ray pointed at these jerks heads!"


Yes they will, I say it will happen because I am the narrator. I am the closest thing to a god you are going to get. Plus you are a villain, and because you are a villain you will inevitably delay your actions and wait for the superheroes to arrive because it was your plan all along to hit them with the ray instead of some random university pencil pusher. But because super villains like yourself are incompetent and bat%@&* insane you will end up failing and go back to the drawing board once you leave or escape prison. Rinse, repeat, money in the bank for the artist.


"....I hate you."


  • Suddenly*


"There you are professor THING!amabob!"


"No, not Atomic Banana-riding Bunny!"


"Avast ye slimy sea dog, prepare to meet your end!"


"No! Not Pantsless Pirate too...."


"Are you drooling?"


"merrrrherrrherrhehehe...."


  • Anne and Bugsy stare at the now memorized professor*


"I think he is done for.... good job Anne, those lack of pants did the trick this time."


"abuuuuhtingtanglayshirlahaha...."


  • Bugsy gives THING! a karate chop to the back of his skull*


"Looks like our work here is done Anne"


"Awwww, but I wanted to make him walk the plank...."


"You can do that next time Anne, for as long as we are here there will be randomly placed villains around every corner that must get defeated one way or the other. For that is our job and we must protect"


  • Cough*


"What?"


This is the last page.


"Oh? Well fine then. I'm off to get a cup of coffee....."


Whatever, look I'm done here and there will be a story next time in OUR SUPER ADVENTURE COMIC, ANNE BONNEY THE PANTSLESS PIRATE AND ATOMIC BANANA RIDER. WHOOOOOSH!


Creed VI: Hijack of the Floating Secks Hotel

The floating secks hotel had just left the harbor of Great Aurelysis to the nation of Long Island for the monthly lotion-prostitute trade exchange that was signed by the Nude Deal between the two nations a long time ago.


An hour into the International water, Horrace the Walrus Beater breaks out of an empty box that was prepared by Tala Lang, Monarch of the Great Aurelysis, to pack the famous lotion of Long Island.


"Damn! This box is huge! The prostitutes of Great Aurelysis sure use a lot of lotion in such little time... but forget that, soon, this former aircraft carrier will become my very own walrus-beating headquarters!" grinned Horrace.


"Hey, kid! What are you doing in here?!" shouted a security guard from the storage room door.


"Uh... my dog took off and I believe he is in here somewhere," responded Horrace, nervously.


"You found him yet?" asked the security guard.


"Not yet."


"Well, hurry up! The first lady of Xiangi demands to use to room for an... um, experiment."


"Oh, okay. I guess my dog isn't in here then." Horrace left the room.


Horrace wandered around the floating secks hotel.


"Sick people. How can they just secks all day long and not worry about a thing?" mumbled Horrace.


"Simple. We have Anne Bonney the Pantsless Pirate and her sidekick CmdrChobo the Chocobo and Bugsy the Atomic Banana-riding Bunny and his sidekick Rawrasaur the "Cute-but-Very-Scary" sausage dog to protect us from all evil," responded the hotel's most famous prostitute... and look who we have here! Kaiser Sam of the ASC Triad is at her side! Okay, back to the story, but Sam, you and I will have to talk about this later!


Horrace jumped. "Oh, hey there. I didn't mean to mumble so loud."


The beautiful prostitute said, "It's alright," she looked at Kaiser Sam. "Ain't it, baby?" She begins to nipple on Sam's ear. Sam smiled.


"Oh, jeez," said Horrace.


The prostitute turns back to Horrace. "What are you doing in the floating secks hotel then?"


"Oh... yeah... that... I'm a student studying how to navigate ships and the captain of this ship has offered to show me how things work, but I haven't been able to find the bridge yet."


The prostitute leaned on Sam's shoulder. "Really?"


"Yes," Horrace responded uneasily.


"Ahh, no problem. I can show you," said the prostitute.


"Really?! Thanks!."


The prostitute smiled. "Welcome." She wrapped her arm around Sam's and led the way.


Ten minutes later... "Alright, we're here. Just go inside."


"Thanks again."


"No problem, babe." The prostitute kissed Sam's cheek.


As soon as they turned around, they hear on the intercom. "ATTENTION! THE FLOATING SECKS HOTEL HAS BEEN HIJACKED BY HORRACE THE WALRUS-BEATER! ALL PASSENGERS ARE TO REMAIN CALM BECAUSE JUST NOW... ALL THE LIFE BOATS HAVE BEEN RELEASED INTO THE OCEAN! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE! MWAHAHAHAHA! AND..."


Horrace quickly comes out of the bridge and snatches the beautiful prostitute into the room and locks up the door. "AND... I HAVE THE FAMOUS PROSTITUTE OF GREAT AURELYSIS AT MY SIDE! RUIN MY SCHEME AND THE LIFE OF HER WILL END! MWAHAHAHA!"


"Someone, please, help me!" cried the prostitute.


"Let her out of there now!" demanded Kaiser Sam from the outside the bridge.


What we didn't see was when Horrace threw a sack over the Captain, General Sparky of the ASC (because the real captain was sick and Sparky is only taking his place for the day), and tied it up... the captain was thrown under the control panel which consist of an emergency help button that gives out the ASC-AA signal and immediately calls our superheroes... anyways, what we didn't see was, General Sparky's head accidently hit that button when he was thrown under the control panel.


Meanwhile, in the city of Steve... CmdrChobo the Chocobo and Rawrasaur the "Cute-but-Very-Scary" sausage dog are following a line of ants outside our superheroes apart... when CmdrChobo looks up and see the ASC-AA signal!


"Wark!"


Rawrasaur looks up. "Woof! Wait... I can talk." Rawrasaur runs to get Anne and Bugsy. "Anne! Bugsy! The ASC-AA signal-"


"Wark!"


Well, well... it looks like our main superheroes are deeply focused in a game of chess.


"Sweet bacon wiener attack!" shouted Rawrasaur. The two sidekicks throw wieners at Anne and Bugsy.


"Hey! Watch it!" yelled Bugsy.


"What the bloody davy jones is a going on?!" Anne demanded to know.


"The ASCAA signal!" answered Rawrasaur.


"Oh shi-!" cried Bugsy.


"Sink me! Ya made me spill my grog ya scurvy bitten varmint!.....OH! It's thar signal! WEIGH ANCHOR! We be off!" cried Anne.


Our heroes run into their apartment to check where the signal was coming from...


"Arctic ocean," said Bugsy.


"Floating Secks Hotel, ahh, thar be the days when I accompanied that vessel full of wenches across the seven seas, man my boys loved to crack Jennys tea cup....." said Anne.


"So....What? Did a prostitute break her fingernail?" Bugsy rolled his eyes.


"Maybe," laughed Anne.


And off our superheroes go to get on their super jet... TO THE FLOATING SECKS HOTEL!!!


An hour later... in the floating secks hotel...


"What do you want with this floating secks hotel, anyway?" asked the beautiful prostitute.


"Oh... for something more useful than secks, of course. I'm gonna make this former aircraft carrier into my very own personal headquarters for walrus-beating!" grinned Horrace.


"But that's awful! Won't you think of the walruses???" pleaded the prostitute, making puppy eyes at Horrace.


"Oh, no. That trick won't work with me," said Horrace.


A serious look on the prostitute's face. "I'm the most famous prostitute of Great Aurelysis for a reason, darling."


"What do you mean?"


The beauty stares right into Horrace's eyes. "Come closer and you'll know."


It seems like our lovely prostitute has finally decided to sprinkle her magic - SWOOOOSH! The door opens!


"Alright ye scurges of the execution dock, what be a going on here? " Anne inquired.


"Horrace here," the prostitute pointed to Horrace, "is attempting to take over this floating secks hotel."


"Is that so?!" exclaimed Bugsy.


"He'll have to go through us then!" our superheroes scream.


And all of the heroes jumped onto Horrace the Walrus Beater while the prostitute was re-accompanied by Kaiser Sam... yeah, Sam, talk... NOW!


  • New narrator voice*


Um, back to the story... our heroes beatup Horrace so bad that he will never be able to raise anything against the walruses anymore. To top that, the walruses were so happy that they dubbed our superheroes, "Honorary Walruses."


Regarding Kaiser Sam and the former narrator... well, lets say the former narrator wasn't happy that Sam can pay the prostitute more than him, so he quit his job as a result of that. I was wandering around in the street when Tala spotted me and asked if I was interested in narrating the adventures of the ASC-AA superheroes, I know better than to take Tala's offer, but she dragged me here anyway. So it looks like I'll be the narrator for as long as I'm being watched by her.


Creed VII: Termination

Should either superhero ever feel the need to strike out on their own, he should give 3 days notice to the soon to be ex-partner that this comic book adventure is to end. But should the day that the comic book company decide that there needs to be a reunion, then all will be normal once more. For these are the ADVENTURES OF ANNE BONNEY, PANTSLESS PIRATE AND ATOMIC BANANA RIDER! DOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOO DOO DOO DOOOO DOOOOOOOOOOO!


  • Whooooosh*


Signatures:


Atlantic Shadow Confederation


ASC Triad

JUDOHAWK

Kaiser Sam

Nucleararsenal74


Minister of Foreign Affairs

Portugal


Auxiliary Army


Tala Lang, President

QThews, Vice President

Duke DYP, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

FluskinTuskin, Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs


The Arizona Ablaze PactEdit

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/CN/AA-PAW.png


A Peace, Intelligence, and Aid Treaty by and between the Auxiliary Army and Purple Alliance of WIN.


Preamble

In the spirit of pantless frivolity and friendship between our two alliances, we the undersigned enter into this treaty as follows:


Article One

AA and PAW recognize one another as sovereign alliances and will treaty each other and its members with the appropriate respect in all public areas. Efforts will be taken by both sides to maintain consistent and productive dialogue.


Article Two

Members of AA and PAW agree to not attack one another. In the event one alliance's nation attacks a nation belonging to the other alliance, both alliances shall order the attacking nation to offer peace and reparations within 24 hours. Should the attacking nation refuse to comply, the offending nation's alliance shall remove the nation from their ranks and commence retaliatory strikes alongside the other alliance.


Article Three

Members of AA and PAW agree to share intelligence critical to the other alliance's safety. They also agree to not conduct espionage on one another.


Article Four

In the event of an unprovoked attack against either alliance, the targeted alliance may contact the other and request military and/or financial assistance. Such assistance is not required as per this treaty but generally encouraged, and rejection of an offer shall not be considered grounds for immediate termination of this treaty.


Article Five

Members of AA and PAW agree to host a symbolic bonfire outside the boyhood home of department store founder J.C. Penney. The bonfire shall be stoked with legged apparel from said department store. The only beverages permitted are Boulevards, tap water contained in a clear, durable plastic bottle, or store-brand colas in aluminum cans. Both alliances agree to strive that the bonfire is carbon-neutral, all materials used are biodegradable or reusable, all foods consumed are as close to certified organic as possible, and all ground transportation is powered with alternative fuels, such as ethanol, biodiesel, or Levi Leipheimer. The use or mere presence of plastic bags or pants at this event is strictly prohibited, except when the Water Patrol, Department of Conservation, or Mike Sherry is within a one-half mile radius of the bonfire.


Article Six

This treaty, upon ratification, shall last until such time that one or both parties believe this treaty is no longer necessary. In that case, advance notice of 72 hours is required before formally dissolving this treaty. In the event violations of Articles Two or Three are unresolved sufficiently, this treaty may be dissolved without advance notice.


Signatures:


Purple Alliance of WIN

Atlashill, Senior Councilor

Israel, Immigration Minister

Proconsul S Rocius, Foreign Affairs Minister

Richard Rahl, Defense Minister

Vanshira, Legislative Minister


Auxiliary Army

Tala Lang, President

QThews, Vice President

Duke DYP, Secretary of Foreign Affairs

FluskinTuskin, Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs


Panda Drinking Songs TreatyEdit

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c153/lexynia/Auxi/GDA_AA.png


Preamble:

This treaty declares that for now and all times to come, anywhere inside the Milky Way galaxy, the Global Democratic Alliance and the Auxiliary Army will be the greatest friends among each other, and share buttsecks on special occasions, like Christmas, Easter or any time that will be chose fit. If any or both of the signatories were to eventually leave the Milky Way, for business or other reason, this treaty would have to be re-validated by both signatories.


Identification of Nearby Fleets (Non-Aggression):

If a fleet of one alliance detects a nearby fleet, they must identify where the detected fleet is from before firing. Should the attacked fleet belongs to the other alliance, the fleet commander of the attacking fleet will be required to restore all the units that were destroyed.


Fighting Against E.T. (Intelligence):

If one alliance discovers E.T., they must inform the other alliance so both of them could fight side by side against the evil alien. If one alliance betrays the other and join forces with E.T. then this treaty would be declared null and void automatically.


Because Spaceships Cost Money (Aid):

By this act, both signatories declare that if the other alliance gets their fleet wrecked by evil alien warriors in the case of an earth invasion, then the unharmed alliance will be encouraged to send some of their cash to the other in order to help rebuild and kill E.T. before he actually calls home for reinforcements. (Never trust E.T.)


Nobody Pulls a Death Star On Us Now! (Rogue Defense):

Whenever AA or GDA intelligence report that a target is threatening or attacking the other or are planing to the construction of a Death Star in order to rule the Milky Way, both alliances will immediately unite and shoot all of our lasers to blow up the alien vessels, because we hate haters.


Conclusion:

If one alliance decides to leave the Milky Way galaxy, they must inform the other alliance about cancelling this treaty within 24 hour of leaving. Or if one alliance plans to go back to Earth, they should inform the other alliance as well.


Signatures:


Global Democratic Alliance


President

MagicalBricks

Minister of Defence

Jkeim

Minister of Economics

Leq

Minister of Domestic Affairs

BastardofGod

Minister of Foreign Affairs

Thrash

Minister of Information

Jsd2k


Auxiliary Army


Tala Lang, President

Duke DYP, The Sexy Vice President

Gottsmik, Diplomatic Council

Xiangi, Diplomatic Council


The Ooie-Gooie-Rich-and-Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookie TreatyEdit

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j276/cmdrChobo/AA-NATO2.png


Ingredients


In order to prepare the best chocolate chip cookies for the entire membership of the alliances North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) and Auxiliary Army (AA), leaders of both parties must have the following ingredients ready:


8 cups of softened butter

6 cups of white sugar

10 cups of packed brown sugar

16 eggs

16 teaspoons of vanilla extract

24 cups of all-purpose flour

8 teaspoons of baking soda

16 teaspoons of hot water

4 teaspoons of salt

16 cups of sweet chocolate chips

8 cups of chopped walnuts


Preheat the NATO-AA oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit


When preheating the NATO-AA oven, leaders of both alliances must be very careful of burning the other. Should a leader be burned... accidently... the remaining dignitaries will apply burn cream on said leader's painful spot.


Mixing the ingredients together


First, the leaders will mix together the butter and sugars. If one leader is unable to tell when the mix has become smooth, it is the other leader's responsibility to let their friend know that it is ready. After this, the eggs will be beat into the mix of butter and sugars one by one. Then the vanilla extract will be stirred in. The other leader who's not mixing this will be pouring the baking soda into the hot water and stir until it is dissolved. Then he or she will conjoin the dissolved baking soda with the other batter. Stir. Salt will be added next. After that, the flour, chocolate chips and walnuts will be united with the batter and be stirred. Throughout this process, leaders should be very careful and make sure that all the ingredients are just right. If one detects a kitchen mouse trying to steal a piece of chocolate chip, said mouse must be killed! OUR CHOCOLATE CHIPS ARE VERY PRECIOUS TO US! Last, but not least, the cookie batter will be placed unto a very large ungreased pan by spoonfuls.


Bake the cookies for 10 minutes


As we all know, the pan is huge, so the leaders of NATO and AA must hold it together while placing it into the oven so that it doesn't drop on the floor. After 10 minutes, the cookies should be good to go and the alliance leaders are to carefully remove the pan and place it on the kitchen counter. Then they must ring the kitchen bell so that the members of NATO and AA will know that the cookies are ready to be shared and come running into the kitchen, rolling on top of each other, spreading cooties, lugging in mud and smashing into pots and pans. When the fiesta is over, the members of both alliances are required to clean up the kitchen and go back outside to play.


My cookies


Should NATO and AA wishes to stop sharing cookies with each other, one must inform the other within 48 hours about their greediness. When the alarm clock strikes said amount of hours, the kitchen will be closed forever unless both alliances decided to open it again in the future for whatever reason.


Signatures:


North Atlantic Treaty Organization


President- King Tom of King Tom

Vice President- President Jackson of Buffalo Niagara

Secretary General- Anu Drake of Numeria

Secretary of State- Lenny n Karl of Mudfoot

Secretary of Treasury- Menite of Pameshlu

Secretary of Interior- BritneysCokeDealer of KFedistan

Secretary of Defense- Zamboanga of Zamboanga


Auxiliary Army


President- Gottsmik of Antverpia

Vice President - QThews of North Rushaa

Diplomatic Council- Duke DYP of Whiskey Drinkers

Diplomatic Council- Xiangi of Xiangi

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