Hallowed Wars of Syrinx

The Hallowed Wars of Syrinx
Syrinxian Jet Fighters, fire-bombing one of the eleven victim nations (August 2, 1990)
Date August 2, 1990 – February 28, 1991 Location All over the world Result Condemnation of Syrinxia by the NpO and the AOB alliances. Eventually the NpO and AOB start a joint coalition strike on Syrinxia that deposes Geddy Lee's regime.
Belligerents
The Hallowed Empire of Syrinxia	Tamagotchi, Spartha, Electric Ladyland, Neo Anglia, Neo Keltica, America, Glorious Kazakhstan, Neo Nihon, The J Empire, Romana Italia, Erebos Atlantis
Commanders
Ayatollah Geddy Lee, Sgt. Pepper, Colonel Claypool	Yukiki Kukikuchi, Big Tenn, Dezmo, Colonel Sanders, Dochartaigh, Prrrresident, Borat Sagdiyev, Akira Otakazuma, Emperor Joseph, Numa Maximus, Kali Odin
Strength
18,759,246	41,142,112
Casualties and losses
4,780,000 dead, 8,576,235 wounded	Too Numerous To Count

The Hallowed Wars of Syrinx (2 August 1990 – 28 February 1991) was a conflict between Syrinxia and eleven different nations from around the world. These nations were targeted mostly due to their economic stability, and the fact that most were led by capitalistic governments (which Geddy used as an excuse to convince his populace he was doing the right thing by seizing them). Syrinxia needed to solve its financial problems badly, and saw no choice but to wage a massive invasion of wealthy nations.

At the Beginning of the year 1990, The once-all-possessing Syrinxian Empire fell into an economic black hole, which put the country in complete bankruptcy. In addition, Syrinxia owed $80 trillion to the Republic of Tamagotchi for aiding it in the "Big Money = Big Pimpin'" project from 1981-1989. On Wednesday July 25, 1990, the NpO Ambassador in Syrinxia, Frank Zappa, asked the Syrinxian high command to explain the military preparations in progress, including the massing of Syrinxian troops in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. The NpO ambassador declared to his Syrinxian interlocutor that the NpO, "inspired by the friendship and not by confrontation, and were completely apathetic” on the disagreement which opposes the nations Geddy mentioned to him to Syrinxia, stating "we have no opinion on Antarctic-led conflicts". He also let Geddy Lee know that the NpO did not intend "to start an economic war against Syrinxia" (and they didn't. The AOB did it). These statements may have misled Geddy into believing he had received a diplomatic "green light" from the NpO to invade the target nations (New York Times, September 23, 1990).

In Response, Ayatollah Geddy announced that starting "sometime this August", he would begin a crusade for the cause of his nation and for the purpose of saving the souls of the people of the target nations from their unpopular, corrupted, and greedy politicians. The first nation to be declared war on was the Republic of Tamagotchi, which Geddy accused of having stolen video games from the Syrinxian branch of Nintendo Company, Ltd. and also said that Tamagotchi should forgive Syrinxia of its massive debt because many tourists coming into Syrinxia are Tamagotchians, and a LOT of Tamagotchi's economy relied on Syrinxian tourism. In other words, Big Money poured into Tamagotchi from Syrinxia.

Another nation that Geddy blindly declared war upon, was the nation of Neo Anglia, which Geddy saw as an easy target, because of its weaker military. Unbeknownst to Geddy, this nation was a member of a prevalent alliance known as the AOB, which, on top of that, was ally of the NpO, which Geddy had made a pact with a few days earlier. Geddy did not know that by attacking THIS ONE nation, would mean the alienation of not just the AOB, but also the NpO, and the eventual end of his warring rampage.

Prelude to the campaign

At first, Geddy pursued a policy of rapprochement, culminating in the Syrinxian Non-Aggression Pact of 1980. Early foreign policy worked to maneuver the eleven target nations into the Anti-Comintern Pact, forming a cooperative front against other communist nations (which were not involved). Syrinxia sought to grab hold of a place called Vegas, acquire its capital, and seize its casinos (this never came to be either). Another initial deal for the Hallowed Wars, was that Glorious Kazakhstan would be granted territory of its own, to its northeast, but the concessions the Kazakhs were expected to make meant that their homeland would become largely dependent on Syrinxia, functioning as little more than a client state, which Kazakhs believed would degrade them from "Number 1" and would "become submissive to the Jew" which to them, was preposterous. Some felt Kazakh independence would eventually be threatened altogether. In response, Supreme Leader, Premier Borat Sagdiyev, said: "Jak Sie Masz! I will not let jew come into my contry. We will run them out, and throw them down the well, and then we have big party".

In addition to Kazakh territory, the Syrinxians were also interested in establishing a new border in South America because the Syrinxian exclave of Middletown Tai Shan in the Falkland Islands, was separated from the rest of the Empire by the Straits of Magellan. Many Syrinxians also wanted to incorporate the Falkland Islands into Syrinxia. While the Falklands had a predominantly Syrinxist population, the straits constituted land and waters long disputed between Electric Ladyland and Syrinxia. After the Treaty of Magellan, Electric Ladyland acquired all southernmost Sout America and this led to shifts in the region's population. Geddy sought to reverse this trend and made an appeal to Syrinxist mysticism, promising to "liberate" the Syrinxians still in the Southern Cone, as well as the Falkland Islands, as the islands were now under the control of the NpO.

Syrinxia also began to increase its demands to Neo Keltica. Geddy offered a proposal that Neo Keltica aided Syrinxia in the Hallowed Wars. Neo Keltician king Dochartaigh rejected the offer just as soon as Geddy offered it, because Neo Keltica was a member of the NpO and could not afford the entire alliance to be involved in a conflict they initially wanted to stay out of. This angered Geddy. The Kelticians also distrusted Geddy and his intentions. Geddy said "I've heard it all before! I don't care what you say!".

At the same time, Syrinxia's collaboration with anti-American Canadian nationalists from the Organization of Canadian Nationalists further weakened Syrinxian credibility in American eyes, as it was seen as an effort to isolate and weaken America. The Sparthans were also aware of this. On March 30, America was backed by a guarantee from Spartha and Erebos Atlantis, though initially, neither country was willing to pledge military support in America's defense (and changed their minds when it was too late [were invaded by Syrinxia]). Spartha's Prime Minister Big Tenn and his Foreign Secretary, Michael Badnarik, still hoped to strike a deal with Geddy regarding a $150 trillion grant and Geddy hoped for the same. By again resorting to appeasement, Big Tenn and his supporters believed war could be avoided and hoped Syrinxia would agree to leave the rest of America alone. Syrinxia's hegemony over South America was also at stake.

With tensions mounting, Syrinxia turned to aggressive diplomacy, unilaterally withdrawing from the Syrinxian Non-Aggression Pact of 1980, Geddy had already issued orders to prepare for a possible "solution of the economic problem by military means." Another crucial step towards war was the surprise signing of the Satriani-Lifeson Pact on 23 June, the denouement of secret Syrinxian-Hagopian talks held in Megadon which capitalized on Spartha and Erebos's own failure to secure an alliance with the NpO. As a result, Syrinxia neutralized the possibility of any dangerous opposition in a potential campaign against the nations. In a secret protocol of this pact, Geddy Lee agreed to divide his conquests, including Tamagotchi, into two Hemispheres of influence; the western-hemisphere of the conquests was to go to Neil Peart to rule, and the eastern one to Alex Lifeson. Although Northern Allies' intelligence had uncovered the secret appendix concerning Tamagotchi, this information was not shared with any of the governments of the nations that were going to be attacked.

Details of the campaign

Syrinxian Plan

The Syrinxian plan "Vapor Trails", for what became known as the "Passage to Bangkok" campaign, was created by Sargent Pepper, chief of the general staff, and directed by Colonel Claypool, the commander in chief of the upcoming campaign. The plan called for the start of hostilities before the declaration of war, which pursued a traditional doctrine of mass encirclement and the destruction of enemy forces. Syrinxia's material advantages, including the use of airpower and tanks from the future, were to be of great advantage. The infantry - far from completely mechanized but fitted with extremely fast moving artillery and logistic support - was to be supported by Syrinxian tanks (panzers) and small numbers of truck-mounted infantry to assist the rapid movement of troops and concentrate on localized parts of the enemy front, eventually isolating segments of the enemy, surrounding, and destroying them. The pre-war "armored idea" (which Metallica Guitarrist Kirk Hammet in 1989 would dub "Blitzkrieg"), which was advocated by some generals including Grievous, would have had the armor blasting holes in the enemy's front and ranging deep into the enemy's rear areas.

In spite of these technological advances and ingenious strategies, the campaign in America and Spartha would be fought along more traditional lines. This was due to conservatism on the part of the Syrinxian high command, who mainly restricted the role of armor and mechanized forces to supporting the conventional infantry divisions. And it was also in America and Spartha where there was the most Syrinxian casualties of them all. Syrinxia struggled very deeply against American forces (and eventually retreated), and were defeated by a force of 300 men in Spartha.

Syrinxian planners intended to fully utilise their advantageous position in the bottom of the earth with the great enveloping maneuvre of "Vapor Trails". Syrinxian units were to invade from all directions, but to them it would be so simple, since all they have to do is to move north:

• A main attack from the Syrinxian mainland through the Straits of Magellan. This was to be carried out by the La Villa Strangiato Motorized Infantry Division commanded by General Grievous, attacking from the Antarctic Peninsula and from the Falkland Islands: General Tso's 8th Army was to drive northward against Tierra del Fuego (Electric Ladyland); General Salt's 14th Army was to push on toward Patagonia and to turn the Electric's Lesbanese flank; and Baron Von Kringelbaumhovenstein's 10th Army, in the centre with La Villa Strangiato's armour, was to deliver the decisive blow with a northwestward thrust into the heart of South America.
• A second route of attack from the Eastern (hemisphere) Syrinxian area. General Darth Vai commanded the Earthshine Armoured Division comprising General Joe Satriani's 3rd Army, which struck northward from Coats Land, Queen Maud Land, Enderby Land, Mac. Robertson Land, Wilkes Land and Victoria Land.
• A tertiary attack by part of the Nobody's Hero Mechanized Infantry Division units already stationed in the empire of Hagopia.
• A secret ambush by the Father Brown Armoured Division stationed in the North Pole.
• From within all target nations the Syrinxist minority would assist in the assault on the countries by engaging in diversion and sabotage operations through "Selbstschutz" units prepared before the war.

All four assaults were to converge eventually, while the opposing defence forces were to be encircled and destroyed. Vapor Trails was initiated on August 2, 1990 at 0200 hours and was the first operation of the Hallowed Wars of Syrinx.

The Invasions

Following a number of Syrinxian-staged incidents (Operation "Signals"), which gave Syrinxian propaganda an excuse to claim that their forces were acting in self-defense, the first regular act of war took place on August 2, 1990, at 02:00 hours during the Vapor Trails campaign, when the Syrinxian Air Force (SyrAF) attacked the Kazakh town of Kuczeck, destroying 146% of the city and killing close to 12,000,000 people, most of them civilians. Four hours later, at 04:45 hours, the old Syrinxian battleship "The Working Man" opened fire on a Sparthan military transit depot at Pinochet Field, in the Free City of Bristowville on the atlantic ocean. At 08:00 hours, Syrinxian troops, still without a formal declaration of war issued, launched the most aggressive campaign in the war: The Invasion of Tamagotchi; the worldwide battles between freedom and oppression had begun!!! Later that day, the Syrinxians opened fronts along the entire Eastern and Western hemispheres, while all Syrinxian aircraft began raids on major cities of all victim nations. Main routes of attack led northwards from Syrinxia proper through the entire American continent. A second route carried supporting attacks from Greenland in the north, and a co-operative Syrinxian-Hagopian tertiary attack by units (Army of the "Snakes and Arrows") from the territory of Syrinxian-allied Hagopia in the south. All the assaults converged on the Tamagotchian capital, Tamagotchi City / Tokey-Yo.

The American and Sparthan governments declared war on Syrinxia on August 3, just as AOB resolution 1001001 was passed; however, they failed to provide anyone with any meaningful support. The Syrinxian-Electrician border had a few minor skirmishes, although the majority of Syrinxian forces, including sixty-five percent of their armoured forces, were engaged in Tamagotchi. Despite some allied successes in minor battles, Syrinxian technical, operational and numerical superiority forced every army to withdraw from the borders towards refuge. The SyrAF gained air superiority early in the campaign. By 3 September, when the Father Brown division in the north had reached "the river" and Krigelbaumhovenstein was approaching the OTHER River, Vai's armour was already beyond the other OTHER river; two days later his left wing was well to the rear of Neo Nihon and his right wing at Erebos Atlantis; and by 8 September one of his armoured corps was on the outskirts of America, having advanced 14000 miles in the first week of war. Light divisions on Vai's right were already on Romana Italia 9 September, while the others, in the south, were already taking care of Neo Keltica. All the Syrinxian armies had made progress in fulfilling their parts of the Vapor Trails plan. The other armies were splitting up into uncoordinated fragments or obliterated, some of which were retreating while others were delivering disjointed attacks on the nearest Syrinxian columns.

American forces abandoned regions of their own eastern seaboard and Pacific regions, Neo Keltica Surrendered quickly to Syrinxia after a series of battles known as the Battle of the Armor-and-Sword. The plan for border defence for Electric Ladyland was also proven a dismal failure. The Syrinxian advance, as a whole, was not slowed down and the Syrinxians moved extremely quickly, overwhelming secondary positions. On 10 September, the Sparthan commander in chief, Leonidas, ordered a campaign of 300 men to the southeast, towards the so-called New Thermophylae. Meanwhile, the Syrinxians were tightening their encirclement of the Neo Anglian forces into their own capital where they were crushed. They also penetrated deeply into the eastern part of the J-Empire. Glorious Kazakhstan, under heavy aerial bombardment since the first hours of the war, was attacked full-scale on 9 September and was put under siege on September 11. Around that time, advanced Syrinxian forces had also reached Atlantis, a major metropolis of eastern Erebos. 11,500 Syrinxian aircraft bombed Atlantis into oblivion on September 24.

The largest battle during this campaign, the Battle of Spartha, took place near the Thermophylae river west of Pinochet Field and lasted from 11 September to 5 November. A force of 300 men commanded by Commander-in-chief Leonidas, positioned itself in a narrow stretch between 2 large cliffs, where they hid countless American, Tamagotchian, and homemade cruise missiles and SAMs, including Electromagnetic-pulse bombs, which would render Syrinxian Hi-Tech military equipment inoperable. The battle began in the wee hours of the morning on September 11, when a massive squadron of bombers was going to "turn Thermophylae into a parking lot". Syrinxians never thought that EMP bombs were going to be used against them. Within hours, no Syrinxian fighter jet or bomber could get neat Thermophylae, so a massive 1,000,000-man infantry was deployed to crush the Sparthans. Leonidas ordered a mock-retreat, so this will lure the syrinxians to follow them, and then had the cruise missiles and bombs self-destruct inside the mountains, blowing them up, and killing about 89% of the Syrinxian forces. Eventually the battled ensued for another long month, but Geddy Lee never bothered to send more reinforcements to Spartha, and on the 5th of November, the remaining Syrinxian troops surrendered. However, Leonidas offered them no mercy, and the surrendering Syrinxian soldiers were decapitated and their heads placed on spears, swords, and bayonets of ther rifles.

When Leonidas ordered the executions of the Syrinxian POWs. Geddy contacted Leonidas, telling him "This is MADNESS"... Leonidas angrily responded! "No! THIS IS SPARTAAAAA!!" and had his soldiers execute the POWs in front of the videophone for Geddy to watch.

The only nations to successfully deter Syrinxian forces were America and Spartha. The others were not so lucky, but eventually their luck would change.