How the West was Won: A chronological pictoral history of ARES

From the Cyber Nations Wiki, the wiki dedicated to the Cyber Nations Game.

[edit] Introduction

Howdy all! Pappy p0rkSab3r here! This evenin' i'll be takin you along for a ride you won't be soon fergittin'! My boy p0rkSab3er met these wild stallions many moons ago, and the rest, as they say is history! Now, you might be wonderin' how such a durned unusual thing like this has had occasion to go down, and that's precisely what I'm here ta tell yas! Ya see, it wasn't always full-time fappin' and lulz! Oh no siree! There was a lot of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears that went into the foundin' of this here motley crue. So sit right back! Gnaw ya off a plug o' baccy, an listen up!

[edit] The Founding of ARES

ARES was founded when Joe Stupid and Caossal picked up Monstermaster in a suspicious van. It is rumored that they used candy to lure the young one in. They drove to the West coast to pick up v0.0v. Dodged a barrage of paintballs, but finally managed to capture the elusive Saphirefenix from America's Hatland. They picked up the creepy and mysterious p0rkSab3r along a desolate stretch of Southern highway, and the van hasn't smelled quite the same since. Barix9 jumped on board, and with infectious motivation, actually added some order to the madness. With the addition of Jotti, Rob26480, Bob the OK, George W Bush, Bob Ilyani, Flameman, and Anubis, a darker funk spread over the van. Inspired, they decided to make this part of their continued quest for all. An alliance was founded, and there is no turning back. The God of War demands that the quest drive ever forward.

And so it shall.

ARES's own Monstermaster: Would you believe it only took one (1) box of NERDS to get this kid into the van?

[edit] Evidence of Ascended Republic of Elite States activity

Have you ever walked into a public bathroom, only to approach the urinal and find that it has been filled with sauerkraut and spaghetti-o's? Has your doormat been replaced by a flounder? Have you ever walked to your mailbox only to discover that it contains no mail, yet has been filled with cream of mushroom soup? Has your phone ever rung in the wee hours of the morning, and the voice on the other end beckons you to "VOTE WITH YOUR MEAT"? Have you noticed a suspicious van around your neighborhood? Has nonsensical graffiti appeared in your neighborhood containing cryptic messages about the deviant activities of one (1) Magnum T. Gundraw? If so, chances are, your domicile has been invaded by ARES.

[edit] Known affiliates

Little is known about the members of ARES. Law enforcement across the US has compiled the following images which bear, based on witness testimonial, the likenesses of known affiliates.

Joe Stupid	Caossal	Barix9	Bob the OK
Saphirefenix	Dardan	Bob Ilyani