| Federal |
Administrator Fesoj Nilats
|Political Parties|| Democratic Party |
National Socialist Workers Party
|12,254 Supporters (2/18/07) |
7,706 Working Citizens (2/18/07)
|National Anthem||Sink The Pink|
|National Holiday||December 20 Der Fuhers Birthday, Resiak Mehliw Nov. 17-18|
|National Tax Rate||28%|
• Gross Individual
• After Taxes
| Spices & Uranium|
Early History Edit
Kulgojev's roots lie in the band of gypses that emigrated to the small island in the Red Sea. Soon the area was dominated with city states. Conflicts raged between them for rescources. Such as the large civil war that was sparked when an angry mob moved from Malden moved to Frechl and demanded the Frechl dentist move his practice to Malden. When the dentist declined as on the grounds that there was no synagouge and too many pork serving restaraunts a 5 day siege went up on the city resulting in 2 casulties. Eventually however the dentist agreed to open a second practice there and work weekends and the conflict was resolved. Soon the city states were restless and after years of conflict decided it was best to unite but there was no common ground they could agree upon.
Of Mormans and Presidents Edit
Arian the 57th had a humble start as the 57th son of a Morman in the northern region of the country. At 17 he tired of the dullness of his life and left his families rice plantation for the city. He found himslef doing odd jobs until picked up a job in sales, he found he had knack for convicing people of his point of view, he had a prosperous job in this area until a large crate fell off a high rack and struck him directly on the head making him a right wing pacifist, a condition that caused much self loathing. Although now a sociopath he didn't share this with anyone and his mood swings that were wide as a Harlem crack whore were never explained.
Arian 57 preping for his infamous, short lived debate
Later he join the Green Party as a secratary for the man who was going to run in the election the city states were holding for a Supreme Ruler.Due to the dramatic heart attack his offical sustatined seconds before the parties were to take the podiums. Shakily Arian57th decided to take the place of his offical and strode out on stage with the other party canidates. At the opening a speaker for the Conservitive Croat Party began by attempting to debunk the Green Party by stateing they lacked a leader with the composure and serentiy to lead a nation. Arian57th famously repiled "I'm calmer than you are" to this jab over he Conservitive candidate for the rest of his speech. After 6 minutes of this the canidate snapped and attempted to stab Arian, but was shot 137 times by the psudeo-military security forces, as the democratic candidate swore and exclamation loudly and overzealous security guard topped off the barrage by throwing a hand grenade on stage, Arian dove off stage moments before the explosion. In effect he took control of the sovergein nation of Kulgojev by default as all his opponets had been fragged like noobs. Arian57 served as Monarch for 34 years until retiring to his summer reteat and leaving his cabinet to place a new government in power.
International relations Edit
Arian the 57th meeting with the NPO delegates
Arian the 57th(or Arian57 for short), as he became to be known was consulted by major alliances during the Great War. He delegated that the country join GATO as he found the NPO to be a band of unpleasant people.
Peoples and Culture Edit
The peoples of Kulgojev follow many paths in the modern Kulgojev but thier traditional pricipal resources of Spices and Uranium has remained an economic hardpoint and the top exports. The salt exported from the country has traditionally been gathered in the later seasons as the tide recides and the sun hardes the sulfer left by the surf into a tough white crust on the beach. The Uranium however was not discovered until later years however, as the southern area of the country was always considered the poorest and most degenerated place in the country it was oft avoided by most everyone. However a group of social scients wished to discover the roots of this and after testing the drinking water decseced into a vast underground lake that many cities tapped into directly or into its tributaries. While exploring they examnined the walls of the cave and found them rich in Uranium and it was identified that it had been the cause of 31,657 cases of retardation.
Minority to majority Edit
While traditionally very similar to slav nations lately under the new leadership of Fesoj Nilats the Germanic population has skyrocketed and it was not long until they dispalced even the large Croat popluation. The people had no choice but to accept the cultural shift towards a future drenched in wiener snitztchlez and schnapps.
Black Horse Canidate Edit
Their new leader, Fesoj Nilats.
After Arian57's stint leading a peacful economic nation he retired, leaveing the transitional governemnt of stewards to decied the new government. They decided that it was best to leave Fesjo Nilats in charge of a Federal Government, mostly this was infulenced by Gednel Wert's complete disappearace after outspokely opposeing Nilats. Under his many reforms military spending was boosted 700% and Kulgojev saw its first wars rather than the policing actions it had taken previously.
Black Horse Wars Edit
Burger Kingdom Edit
The Burger Kingdom was the first to be assualted without warning. Soliders and leaders alike gained experiance from this conflict despite the ease and speed of victory. Complete victory was declared after the home of leader "The King of Burgers" was stomred he was gunned down by 7 submanchine guns while rifling through his mail. A curious lance corpral took the letter that had been in the presidents hand. It was postmarked "Declaration of War on the behalf of Kulgojev". The war lasted a matter of hours.
Possibly the most bitter enemy in the history of Kulgojev Theloncia was attacked under the guise of engaging another GATO nation when intentions were truly for attrition and spoils. Thelonica was engaged head on in a massive multi-pronged invasion, while going was slowing the western part of the country the campaign from the south cut through defenses and destoryed the industrial center of the nation along with its major port city. Thelonica retaliated in a massive paratrooper campagin over Kulgojev that inflicted heavy casulties on the military of Kulgojev but ended in victory for the defenders but at a terrible price. Theloncia had its formal miltary forces crushed in a month due to the bold but descisive defeat. After occupying the country with the execption of its very fortifired 16 square mile heartland insurgent attacks began to inflict heavy casulties on farther provinces. Through intellegence networks a major insurgent hub was located and raided bringing many Insurgent casualites and intelligence documents. Now lacking formal direction the attacks became more sporadic but persisted. Outraged Nilats pulled out all troops and bombareded the capitol for 2 weeks until it was merely rubble then the war was officially declared ended in Kulgojev.
Overlord Campaign Edit
Fesoj Nilats was contacted by Rossoffle and given a deal that in return for aid given in a campagin determined to bring 'stability' to Africa Kulgojev would recive aid in its future endevours. Nilats hastily accepted the deal.
Bang went Boomshalalakaka Edit
Kulgojev Aircraft over Boomshakala's coast line.
On a breezy August day a fleet of Kulgojev warships bounced in the tide as they trained artillery peices inland. All at once the silence was broken and a 2 hours shelling began while marines and a few dozen armour peices stormed the beaches, the armour served its purposes in busting the beach bunkers and turning back defenders. Kulgojevian Marines pushed inland through the dense jungle terrain and defeated all the shakalakan defense decisively in a week long offensive. Despite the decisive victory all the tanks on the offensive were lost due to the tank hostile jungle environment, which made things much more difficult later. As they reached the capital and major industrial center of shakalaka they found a vertile valley cleared of jungle foilage for a kilometer all around the city leaveing a dangerous killing feild to be crossed by assualters. The first assualt was a tactical victory although no real territory was gained, however the platoons that assulated at night came perilously close to the city while under fire and used shoulder fired rockets to hit defensive hard points that held mortar postions and havey cailbur machinegun positions. The next attack overran the city with many casulties due to the lack of armour suffered by Kulgojev forces.
The final confrontation on east africa was nearing. Rossoffle sought out the aid of his old comrade Fesjo Nilats with confidence that the joint forces could sustain a decisive victory over what would be the Campagin's most formidable rival.Kulgojev came around the horn of Africa and countinued around south then north and landed south east of the country. Sexlanta moved in by land from thier northern position and in a suprise attack anhitllated the military barracks on the north of the country. Undaunted Sexlantian forces continued marching south. Kulgojev forces moved their massive infantry and armour battalions through the harshest desert in eastern africa in with the hopes that boreder defenses would be very light there. However once in the heart of the desert a horrible sand storm blew in and the feild marshall Resiak Mehliw ordered his troops to halt knowing that advancing would result in miscommunication and units straying and getting lost. As the invasion force stopped for the night still waiting for the storm to blow over a report came in that Sexlanta forces had recived no resistance and the minor military outposts they had come across had been abandon. Mehliw sensed trouble but had no choice to stop in the noctural sandstorm. That night Cyrhope assaulted and Kulgojevs position with a high toll for Kulgojev. At one point all outlying permeiters had fallen and all forces were fighting from the small 50,000 population desert town that had served as the Temporary Command center for Kulgojev. Resiak communicated to General Rossoffle that he was surronded and was not going to be able to penetrate the enemy's assault. Resiak the proposed that he would serve to keep Cyrhope's forces occupied while Rossoffle quickly march the several miles into position to hit the rear and flank of the enemy. Then a massive armour and infantry counter offensive was launched by Kulgojev from the small city. The stories of individual heroism were myriad and all of the enemy armour was destroyed by daring and often suicidal Kulgojevian armour and AT units. Despite being outnumbered and utterly reckless the fighting came out with equal casulties on both sides and Cyrhope left with no armour. Rossoffle swept in and the enemy suffered a devastating defeat as none were left alive and many of the Cyrhope soliders not involved in the battle deserted at the stories of the ruthlessness of the slaugther. Kulgojev's invasion force was harshly limited in numbers and had to be re-deployed while Rossoffle took the reigns himself for a time. In stark contrast to thier ground counterparts the Kulgojev airforce cleaned the skies of enemy air units in a single day and began strategic bombing and close air support sorties unimpeaded.
Resiak's sacrifice for the good of the Overlord Campaign
Armed Coalition Edit
Sexlanta once again called on a former ally while he was in the midst of a conflict.Kulgojev was ever ready to recive that call. Kulgojev military leaders planned out a strike heavily relying on Air and Amphibious assaults. With haste several special forces teams were inserted on the border south of FoxForce5's border just outside radar range. Quickly the esablished a makeshift airfeild with camoflauge taurpolins to conceal them from air reconissance flights. Soon a detachement of fighters was idling at the new field. The special forces groups then split into teams with specific objectives and eliminated groud to air defenses along the southern border. While FoxForce was reeling from the covert assualts the overet air assualt followed just before dawn and utterly destroyed air resistance Which was followed by massive bombing runs that totaled percentages of whole cities. DondelLewise posed no threat now.
Kulgojev left a detachement of Specail Forces soliders and a small airwing to continue to burn FoxForceFive while the remainder of its forces turned it's attention on the intruding Gurilla forces Abu Villa had dispatched to a southern sattelite island of Kulgojev and that had summarily lost contact with the mainland as of a week ago. A small special forces team was assainged to asses the situation there and report back the recommneded course of action. During the night they made landfall via 2 RIB's and investigated.The following account is a combination of team Captain Marchinko and medic Sergant "Patches" Watson from thier non-fiction autobiography they recently published on thier respective careers.
"We made landfall just south of a Kulgojevian mountain division outpost. The whole island was a small inactive volcano that had risen from the seabed along with part of it's acompanying mountain range sometime in the Jurassic period. Suffice to say the it was slow going; it had been an hour and a half before we made it the mile and a quarter up the cliff face to the outpost. When we got there and saw no friendly activity we did a weapon's ready tactical search of the outpost and evidence of very little isolated fighting...in the interior of the post. However no bodies were found and only pockmarks and someshell casings were found. The base had been stripped of all military assests and personnel. Patches discovery ended the vexation. In the cellar area a large hole in the wall was found. We had Marty take a flashlight and secured him with rope. He then decsended for a great length of time until he called back with a radio and stated that the burrow ended on a plateu aproximatly 1200 ft east of the base and there were signs that a camp had been here not too long ago. Bastereds had burrowed into the base at night at a nearly 45 degree angle and took everyone hostage. I decided it was time to follow whatever trail they had left and see if there weren't any hostages we could secure.Outside the outpost we were able to follow what had been tire tracks of a 2 ton truck undoutably used to haul off the plunder. At midday the next moring we arrived on the outskirts of a major village on the island. In my carrer I have never seen so much intentional carnage at one time. Several severed heads stod atop pikes at the village entrance and the smell of decay and blood was strong. We halted until nightfall and in the meantime formed our assualt plan against a vastly numerically superior enemy. Dusk set things in motion. A single bomber was headed south over the Red Sea with 2 Cobra attack choppers following in it's wake . The position of the Enemy barracks had been confirmed as was the remaining hostages location. I distincly remeber watching a patrol quietly talking when the bomber's drone could be heard. The look on thier faces was terror as they stared at the blinking lights before a payload of napalm was dropped on their sleeping comrades. While they were still averting their eyes I gave the go signal and slit both thier throats. What followed was my team hitting the grimy hotel the hostages were held at in a frenzied blitz and procuring what was left of them. Outside rockets and droneing miniguns were heard as they Cobra's provided distraction. Soon we were well out of the hotzone when they were finally called off. In the following confusion I led a second blitz on the village and surrounded the remaining enemy in what had been the makeshift fire station of the village. We assualted it with teargas and made quick work of it. Among the dying after the assualt was Wolfpack5000 himself. I stared at him and let my thoughts drift to the slaughter and torture the 52 Mountain Division had endured. I stabbed him in the stomache and don't regret it to this day."
Wolfpack was now no longer an imminent threat and Kulgojev moveded its attention to aid Rossoffle in his disposal of Russania. In the battle of Phat Camp Kulgojev played the role requireing them to seize the skies over the city before a ground offensive could be launched. Due to the nature of the plans speed was essential and only a small airwing of techonogically obsolete Kulgojevian fighters (still slightly superior to Russanias however) were at disposal as most had been recalled to be formatted with new weapons technology. A handful of Kulgojev's most experianced and daring fighter pilots took up the call. After a diversonary action by rocket infantry against some anti-air positons the jets took off from the airfeild supplied by Sexlanta. The Jets made thier way over the myriad of anti-air weapons placed by Seanamama after the downfall of his other ally by air units; The fighters then engaged the numerically supieriour fighter jets while in the midst of the anti-air. In the resulting battle casulties were 6 to 1 in the favour of Kulgojev. With thier air forces crippled Rossoffle's general led a highly succesful attack and destroyed the capital city.
Great War II Edit
Farked up situations Edit
The alliance FARK established itself in CN in mid-January, had this been any other alliance under any other circumstances such an event would have been merely a trifle. However as it was the GOON's alliance had many tensions with the FARKinians from past internet associations and despite repeated diplomatic peace attempts it was not to be. War between FARK and the Initiative broke out. Soon the Leauge began to aid the FARK alliance, and Great War II broke loose.
Theatre of Populous Edit
Kulgojev immidieatly crushed an enemy who was prepareing to attack Sexlanta. In a glorious joint operation between Kulgojev, Shadow Kingdom, and Sexlanta, the first oppostion, Snowjob, was annhilated. This birthed an optomistic first conflict, however it was only the begining of what would be the most destructive conflict in Kulgojevs history. Soon after Kulgojev began battle with Populous, a GOON's enemy who's capital was Istanbul. Populous was the only country to ever best the Kulgojevian airforce to date, destroying much of it in a single descisive air battle that changed the course of the war. Populous proved to be a cunning enemy with a very expansive military despite it's small size and backwards technology. Many 4 other nations came to Kulgojev's aid against this aggresor who would soon show just how resourceful he was. As the war steamed foreward Kulgojev forces advanced up the Red Sea fighting minor battles with limited succes until pushing up into the suez canal. It was here military advisors from both battles knew that this would be the place that this theatre of war would be decided. It was here that the Naval and amphbious conflict came to a head. In a daring move Kulgojevian three-star general Vincent Furnier sharply changed Kulgojev's assault tactics. The result was an overwhelming victory for Kulgojev. The final casulty results for the three day battle were approximatley 4:1 in Kulgojev's favour. General Fernier then led his forces north fighting several significant battles suffering only one defeat on Cyprus before he assaulted it again with success. It was not until his naval and amphibious division reached the Greek Pennensuila that another battle on a scale that would decied the theatre would be fought. A week long battle ensued ended in Kulgojev victory with high losses, but higher losses of Populous soliders that had no retreat after Kulgojev their only lane of retreat back to friendly lands. General Furnier once again showed his prowess by launching several attacks aimed at the enemies physical defenses and infrastruce, damaging their defensive capabilites and drawing them out before launching well planned highly offensive assualts on an enemy that was unsuspecting and had undefendable positions. Most of the Populous forces that fleed were either captured or killed in ambushes. The battle was a defiant blow by Kulgojev who fought on despite all the 4 other GATO nations in the conflict being defeated in their Populous theatres when they were overwhelmed by other Initiative nations in seperate conflicts. Kulgojev was the only nation that persisted in fighting the menace of Populous, and they were on the brink of absolute victory after an arduous defense and a bloody offensive north. With thier land and naval forces crippled Populous forces hunkered down in thier capital city to attampt to break what would be the inevitable seige of Istanbul. Naval ships began bombarding the city while taking fire from cruise missles and fighter-bombers of the Populous dominated skies. However it was apparent that it was only a matter of time before amphbious forces seized the city and brought and end to the theatre. However it was not to be. It was upon the day that had been scheduled for the assault that the war between the Inititive and the Leauge ended and Populous capital remained untouched. With a bitter-sweet taste in thier mouth General Vincent Furnier and his daring division began the long trek home.
In order to attack Sexlanta effectivly. The Sphere invaded and quickly overran Kulgojev island, defeating all of it's grand and powerful military in only an astonishing two weeks. With no choice left Arian57 helped Rossoffle sneak two thermo-nuclear warheads onto the island then detonated them, destroying all of the sphere's mounting offensive as well as everyone else there. Kulgojev's sacrifice would not be in vain.