Magnum T. Gundraw

From the Cyber Nations Wiki, the wiki dedicated to the Cyber Nations Game.

Please note that this article is made to be humorous and is not vandalism.

Please do not edit it unless you know something about everything not everything about nothing.

Also, Porksaber can do what he wants.

Magnum PI aka Tom Selleck aka Pauline. This is not me.

Magnum "Tigga Please" Gundraw is the ruler of the nation Templuria and occasional cat-herder. He has served in several alliances/cults throughout his time in CyberNations, and currently is a prisoner of the Corporation of Serious Business.

[edit] History

Templuria has existed in the Cyberverse for nearly ten tears now, and Magnum T. Gundraw has led it on Planet Bob since its inception. Most of Magnum's life was spent as a member in the Awesome Brigade - an alliance I just made up.

Magnum was once incarcerated for giving a panda a handjob in a Dillard's department store. No charges were pressed as he did this to assuage the beast and prevented mass panda humping from ensuing from the otherwise uncontrollably randy beast.

[edit] The New Pacific Order

Magnum served as an Unofficial Official Spam Commander in NPO. Time spent = GREAT SUCCESS!

[edit] After the Order

Magnum, after departing the NPO with much honor remaining (lol satire), walked in the desert aimlessly, untill he hooked up with Moses and some Jews. We found a place called the Azure Coalescence, which, as Moses thought, was the holy land. I'd like to clarify that he was wrong as fuck. The real holy land is Las Vegas.

It was during this time that Magnum met his good friend, Skipper.

[edit] The Azure Coalescence

He doesn't remember much about this alliance, which is sad considering he founded it. On the upside, it was a nice waste of time.

[edit] The Ascended Coalition of Liberty

Magnum T. Gundraw was then a member of the Ascended Coalition of Liberty and suspected member of the evil spy ring known as "The Mod Team". He served as Triumvir of Foreign Affairs, a position notable for its complete lack of political boundaries, pretty much making him Supreme-God of the Armed Cats of Lebanon.

Herro.

After launching a violent coup that overthrew his Evil Korean Overlord, Magnum travelled back in time and stopped himself from being born. This caused a paradox, blowing up the entire universe. This begs the question. Who are you and how are you reading my wiki?

No seriously, quit stalking me.

[edit] Ragnarok

After the Armed Cats of Lebanon went kablewy, Magnum joined Ragnarok. Following in the footsteps of another Evil Overlord, Van Isaac Hoo the Third, Magnum began to learn the way of lulz. Also after his joining up with "the RoK," Magnum enjoyed a scandalous relationship with SanderP which was comprised mostly of the words "fgt" and ":8bux:"

[edit] Corporation of Serious Business

Following the Sander P. Lewinsky event, Magnum resigned from Ragnarok. In his parting days he apologized for Watergate and calling Zealous fat (though BadOmen is quite a chubbo). Realizing that CyberNations lacked the amount of Serious Business required to be a successful place and appointing a committee of inbred Howler Monkeys to the case, Magnum came to the conclusion that the only way to save CyberNations was to save the cheerleader. Also, more Serious Business was required. So he formed a Corporation to stabilize Planet Bob.

But it turns out that ACL's evil twin brother's half sister's second cousin's third uncle twice removed's babysister's aunt's dog's retarded gay niece's alliance, ARSE, was out to get it. They can't STAND Serious Business. Armed with only a toothpick, a SUSPICIOUS Van, and a box of nerds, Magnum and his loyal employees laid waste to the entire alliance. We totally screwed that ARSE.

Now Magnum T. Gundraw and his allies ride into the night, not knowing what obstacles stand between them and Serious Business.

[edit] Nowadays

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just sit right there
Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air

Magnum enjoys enjoys drawing, long walks on the beach, and scheduled buttsecks (contrasting with "SUPRISE, BUTTSECKS!"). Are you open for next Thursday?

[edit] Reindeer Games

Magnum does not play them.

[edit] Credo 2.0

Ludacris, who stole the Gundraw Credo 2.0

Are you custom-made, custom-paid, or you just custom-fitted?
Playstation 2 up in the ride and is that Lorenzo-kitted?
Is that your wife, your girlfriend or just yo; main bitch?
You take a pick, while I'm rubbin the hips
touchin lips to the top of the dick and then WHOOO!
Now tell me who's your housekeeper and what you keep in yo' house?
What about diamonds and gold, is that what you keep in yo' mouth?
What in the world is in that CASE, what you got in that CASE?
Get up out my face, you couldn't relate, wait to take place
at a similar pace so shake, shake it

[edit] Accomplishments

During his decade in CN, Magnum has done things. Some of these can be called accomplishments. Others can be called failures. :emowristcutbawwww: All are in the correct order.

Magnum:

told Eve that the snake wouldn't bite.
convinced Kevin to create CyberNations after he had all but given up on it.
did your mom.
once took down Legion... WITH HIS BEAR HANDS
liked the name Camilo.
was part of the original force that invaded GATO's version of Normandy in GWIII's version of WWII. There were also vampire Nazis, but we'll talk about how QuiteTheUserName is one of them later.
owes Sander P :8bux:
faked his own death just to get NotNotMagnum off his trail.
made this 100% factual wiki.
talked to Logan diplomatically while he was drunk.
was not responsible for any acts of the Bush administration.
demoted his own Emperor to Minister of Cornflakes.
unified Maroon one hour and led it into civil war the next. (I still blame Zifosis)
has annoyed Van Hoo III for the hell of it.
declared war on declaring war.
merged with his own alliance in order to gain more members.
joked on Olaf[Rok] for going to an all guys school. (total sausagefest)
did not have a lead role in the television series Magnum P.I.
conquered the Antarctic territories and formed a penguin militia, not unlike that of LimeLikeTheBean's.
became QuiteTheLoyalMember.
formed the Vanumvirate in order to coup and replace the Evil Emperor Overlord Van Isaac Hoo the Third when he was moving to Californicatia.
called BadOmen (no space) fat... which he is.
became Saint Magnum of the Order of Manolution. Saphirefenix be damned.
destroyed Barix9[ARES] with logic.
tricked you into reading this bullshit wiki.