Marjasian Islands

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Marjasian Islands
National Flag
Motto "Heehee. You look funny."
National Anthem Poor Hamster and Mahnah Manah!. Anthem in Caribbean states: The Ketchup Song (because we hot like dat) Anthem in the Southern states Macarena (because we cool like dat)
Capital City	Big Island City
Official Language(s)	En, Af, De, Pt, and more. Depends on states.
Established	31 March 2009
Government Type	Monarchy
Ruler	His Royal Smechsiness CreativName
Alliance	Through Yggdrasil's Roots
Nation Team	Maroon
Total population	54,475
	43,075 civilians
	11,400 (16,252) soldiers
Literacy Rate	97.64%%
Religion	Buddhism
Currency	Dollar
Tax Rate	28%
Infrastructure	4200.00
Technology	325.31 (tech buyer)
Nation Rank	#8,781 of 26,136 Nations (33.60%) of 25,980
Nation Strength	16,525.450
Total Area	2112.681 miles diameter = 3.50556 million mi^2 (square miles)
Native Resources	Aluminium, Gold and Awesomeness (it's so awesome the link doesn't work).
Connected Resources	Steel, Automobiles, Beer, Construction, Microchips, Radiation Cleanup and Asphalt

I basically add to this wiki article when I'm bored :)

Contents 1 Government positions 2 Announcement from the new Government Buildings in Big Island City 3 About the Marjasian Islands 3.1 Ethnic Diversity 3.2 Flag 4 The Gale of August 14 2009 5 Awesomestest Pizza Sauce Evar Has Been Found

[edit] Government positions

Marjasian Islands is a growing, developing, and established nation at 120 days old with citizens primarily of African ethnicity who follow no religion. It is a backwards nation when it comes to technology and many refer to it unkindly as a 'Third World Nation'. Its citizens pay extremely high taxes and many despise their government as a result. The citizens of Marjasian Islands work diligently to produce Gold and Aluminum as tradable resources for their nation. It is a mostly neutral country when it comes to foreign affairs. It will usually only attack another nation if attacked first. When it comes to nuclear weapons Marjasian Islands will not research or develop nuclear weapons. Plans are on the way within Marjasian Islands to open new rehabilitation centers across the nation and educate its citizens of the dangers of drug use. Marjasian Islands allows its citizens to protest their government but uses a strong police force to monitor things and arrest lawbreakers. It has an open border policy, but in order for immigrants to remain in the country they will have to become citizens first. Free speech is considered taboo in Marjasian Islands. The government gives foreign aid when it can, but looks to take care of its own people first. Marjasian Islands will trade with other nations with questionable ethical treatment of their citizens but prefers to keep such trade agreements a secret.

[edit] Announcement from the new Government Buildings in Big Island City

------------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding basic laws, taboos, and culture of the Federal States of Marjasia - a quick guide for outsiders
----------------warning, words and sentences follow---------------

At the first sight of that portal to this new world, we knew what we wanted, and we knew how to get it. It was hard work, but now we are here, and we are glad for it.

Firstly, shoes, un-funny adverts, staying indoors for more than 20 hours at a time, staying out for less than 4 hours at a time, and possession of underwear are a great taboo in our nation. If you use or do any of these, you will be reported to the authorities, and they will come to your house and call as many people as they can, knock on your door, and run away. One by one. Then they will start calling you and hanging up, and various other pranks they can think up. To people who do this, whoopee-cushions, spray paint and stink bombs are highly recommended. This will continue until you stop these disgusting taboos. The taboos apply nationally. If you refuse to give in, unspeakable happenings of the yellow liquid kind will happen to your front door every day by someone who eats asparagus with every meal. Your front door will stink and you will be afraid to touch it. Anyone psychologically affected by these actions, not doing these taboos might help.

Taboo retaliation has become a national sport in Marjasia, and people are always on the lookout for tabooers tabooing taboos.

Stray cats with one eye will be fitted with a cybernetic eye, which has a camera that sends everything it sees to the National Surveillance Station, to check you are obeying laws. They may also be used to check on tabooers. They are still cats, so they may follow you home and live in your house (smallprint). Don't worry. We won't watch you get undressed. Pinky Promise. If you have nothing to hide, you will not have to lock the cat out or kill it. Doing so will raise suspicion. We also don't pay attention to anything that is legal or isn't taboo.

Cats may also follow you home if you are female and devastatingly attractive.

Complaints about cats will be accepted and it will be up to the President's Office to decide what to do with it.

Now, for some of our laws: Each state in Marjasia has the opportunity to make its own laws. If they do not want to do so, the laws will all be copied from Big Island. Laws marked with stars (*) will be applied nationally and cannot be changed by states.
* TV shows banned: Teleshopping/Home-shopping (or similar)
* The Law of Gravity will not be applied in city districts. Anti-gravity machines will be placed in the centre of each city and will be large enough to anti-gravitate the whole city.
- Avocados has been banned anywhere within 10 kilometers of the Presidential palace. Intense searches will be conducted.
* Taxes is 28%. 50% of all taxes will go to the local state. 50% will be taken by the national government. Remember that this high tax rate makes it worth it to live in the Federal States of Marjasia.
- Free basic medical care will be provided, and payed by the taxes (this includes any issues relating to critical health)
- Other medical care, such as orthodontics, we hate. You shall pay!
* A statue of Queen Lanna will be built in every city.
* A statue of Princess Niciplatt will be built next to the statue of Queen Lanna
* These statues must be colourful and beautiful, reflecting the people who they are built for.
- Laziness will be rewarded with cake, but it should be moderated to at most half of the daylight hours.

I'm too lazy to go further. Will do it later. Where is my cake?

------continued-------
* Life in prison means life in prison. No exceptions (unless proven innocent), no bail, doesn't matter if you are immortal or a machine.
- Life in prison cases may be reviewed several times, though the more times the case is reviewed, the more swiftly it will be reviewed in order to save government time.
- Stealing cake is punishable by being sent into a deep hypnotic world of cake and other tasty foods, for a week. You cannot eat, touch, or lick the icing off of, any of this cake. Only smell the sweet, sweet mouthwatering aroma. YEAH, AND WHAT! THIS IS TORTURE! WHA U GONNA DO ABOUT IT? D:!
- In addition to the above law, the convict is never allowed to look at cake again - this is punishable by unexpected lightning bolt from the God Of Cake (AKA, President).
* The President is exempt from the cake stealing law. He may run around naked raiding everyone's cake away from them.... If he so wishes. Wearing a Viking helmet.
* Anyone who is freed from prison will be sent to a psychiatric unit to see if they are safe for society. Don't worry, they have candy!
* Machines that are in prison will not be allowed to use their communication devices, radar, or weapons
* Machines are allowed to join the army.
* Humans outrank machines in every state, except the cyber-state of Bermudica. Machines in other states will obey humans. If they do not, they will be imprisoned.
* Mistaking children for house-robots is illegal and will be flagged up for attention by social services.
* Every time someone does a taboo retaliation, they will laugh like a maniac. Every person who hears this are encouraged to repeat the laugh. Laughs should sound like this: "Yeeeeh heeh heheheheeeeeh!" with a high pitch.
* Every time someone is on their way to a taboo retaliation, they are to shout like a viking 30 seconds before their attack, and shout "För det allmännas väl" which is Swedish for "For the greater good!" ("For the good of the society!" actually). "For almenvellet!" is also accepted, which means the same thing in Danish. Other Nordic languages will be included, once Google Translator and/or Imperator works in these languages. There is a whole section on these languages in our law books. Beware! They contain even more words and sentences than this!

Lazy attack! Ugh!

* If prisons are full, prisoners will be sent to an island in the middle of nowhere with no food and little water, where you will be forced to eat each other or sail to another island.
* Friday is talk like a pirrrate day
* Saturday is talk like a viking day (with a nordic accent of your choice) [image of a viking here]
* Sunday is happy day. Smile like this: [awesomeface here] (smiling like this: [laughing face here] is also accepted)
* Monday is walk like a zomb-BRAAAAAAINZ day [zombie picture here]
* Tuesday is talk like a hippie day, man. Hippies are radical. They have good vibes. [flower picture]
* Wednesday is sneak like a ninja day [picture of eyes in darkness here]
* Thursday is quite day. No talking, only sign language (or signs) [man holding sign] Taboo retaliation noises are not allowed on this day. :roll:
* Any flashmobs that occur in the city must occur on weekends, so everybody can attend.
- Schools will be open for nine months a year. That is, every month except the 3 months of SUMMER! YAY!
* Lessons of playing with fire is mandatory in all schools.
- Attending school in Autumn will be optional. Pupils who do not attend will be sent lessons through email and tested on them in the early Winter.
* Everyone has a say in what happens in the government.
* In order for the above law to be more possible, permanent polling stations will be open around the nation, and you will have the opportunity to vote on anything the government is discussing. This vote is not binding, and is taken as public opinion.
- You must attend all referendums and elections dressed in a monkey suit. If said monkey suit is not available, one must dress as a walrus.
* Elections will take place each time the current president dies or retires.
* Retirement age for the president is 65. After this, they may still be a politician.
* Retirement age for politicians is whenever they want. Just 'cuz you're old doesn't mean you don't have opinions.
* The president may be ousted, but with population happiness at 25 to 40, this isn't likely :lol:
* Machines do not get to vote (except in Bermudica), but still have a say in government.
* Immortals cannot be presidential candidates... that isn't fair.
* The minimum age for presidency is 13.
- Computers in Marjasia will have a program which will make the internet an artificial intelligence thingy, bound on making itself better and filling itself up information of the world. This will let the internet of Marjasia be very informative and reliable.
* All citizens over the age of 18 will be issued a firearm which will only work with their own fingerprints. The government may take away these weapons at will. Therefore, anyone will be able to defend themselves against invaders of Marjasia, and therefore defend the nation.
- The minimum age of being in the military is 18 (this applies for humans, immortals, and machines)
* Don't murder anyone. Doing so will get you life in prison. The exception is for invaders of our country, but aim for their legs if you shoot. Getting them alive helps our intelligence agencies.
- If you do so by accident, your prison time will be decided according to how serious the accident was.
* Politics must have a funny side. Always.
* Cars without jet engines or foldable wings are banned. Anyone can request wings and jet engines if they don't already have it. This will be payed for using taxes. Fields or cities without gravity can be used as landing or stopping areas. - People who do not have driving licenses will have to resort to using their car's autopilot. - All families will have at least one pet
* Last but not least, be nice. If you fail to be nice and you are a miserable ass most of the time, you will be sent on a very nice nice-ifying course.

Thank you for reading. From the above text, you can see that our culture includes not wearing underwear, pranking people while being crazy, making funny advertisements, flying around in jet cars, being nice, having young presidents, and going outside. In some places, our culture also includes slight perversion. Our main inventions are intelligent robots and internet, and anti-gravity machines. Our national anthems are listed up there in the table (video doesn't need to be used when singing, but a flag with a picture of our poor Hamster, the mahnahmahnahmuppet, or the dancer ladies in Macarena or The Ketchup Song is required).
All Marjasians have a genetic defect which causes everyone not to notice that a joke is ever getting old (or it at least takes longer). This is caused by radiation given out by anti-gravity machines, however, these rays spread out much further than the anti-gravity fields, so it also affects people in the country side. It is blocked by the sea. This radiation particle has not yet been isolated, and frankly, nobody cares!

_{And now for a song the president likes to take your mind off from reading the small-print that actually matters: You will not be able to stay home, brother. You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip out for beer during commercials, Because the revolution will not be televised. The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox In 4 parts without commercial interruptions. The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary. The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will not be brought to you by the Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia. The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal. The revolution will not get rid of the nubs. The revolution will not make you look five pounds thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother. There will be no pictures of you and Willie May pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run, or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance. NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32 or report from 29 districts. The revolution will not be televised. There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down brothers in the instant replay. There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down brothers in the instant replay. There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process. There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving For just the proper occasion. Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and women will not care if Dick finally gets down with Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people will be in the street looking for a brighter day. The revolution will not be televised. There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock news and no pictures of hairy armed women liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose. The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb, Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth. The revolution will not be televised. The revolution will not be right back after a message about a white tornado, white lightning, or white people. You will not have to worry about a dove in your bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl. The revolution will not go better with Coke. The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath. The revolution will put you in the driver's seat. The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised. The revolution will be no re-run brothers; The revolution will be live...... And now for the less important stuff nobody cares about: bribes will be accepted but no action will be taken on them. Bribes for this smallprint will be accepted but no action will be taken on them. Thank you for your donation. This message may be continually edited at the President's will and the frequency of his lazy attacks. Cyborg cats will only follow you home if you have raised the government's suspicion. We can speak cat, you know. Spare cats will choose random people to follow home.} ------------end of scary words and sentences-----------

[edit] About the Marjasian Islands

[edit] Ethnic Diversity

Ever since the discovery of these previously disguised, unchartered islands, people from all of Africa have migrated into the Marjasian Islands' Southern states. Since racial mixing isn't encouraged, the main ethnic groups split themselves into the various islands, so one will often find that there is a high amount of racial diversity, but the races simply tend to be separate. Big Island is the only exception, where you get all races mixed around the capital, although there is still a degree of separation.

Racial mixing isn't particularly encouraged, because it causes a range of problems among the people, especially African people, from annoyances in differences in culture, to Xenophobia, to Law preferences, to struggle for control through civil war. The federal system of the country allows the main ethnic groups to rule themselves, their own islands, with fairness.

The Namibian Coast Territory, also known as The Power Territory, is largely uninhabited, and is mostly used to generate green energy for the Marjasian Islands, by taking advantage of the severe heat of the Namib desert. The only major city in this Territory is the city of Walvismund, formed after a merger of the cities of Swakopmund and Walvis Baai, after Swakopmund was suddenly and unexpectedly moved (buahahahahahaha) to make space for Air Force and Naval bases. Other minor towns and cities in the Territory are almost for the sole purpose of providing habitation, care, economic support, and food for the people and families employed at the massive Solar and Nuclear power plants which are dotted across the territory. Hospitals in these areas have increased provisions for nuclear accidents and severe, unfortunate cases of sunburn. The islands in the North, the Caribbean ones, have been taken over later by the Marjasian Islands after being largely uninhabited in Planet Bob. These islands are inhabited now by crazy American people, and robots (Bermudica).

[edit] Flag

The yellow island in the flag represents Big Island, with its massive deposits of Awesomeness and Gold. The brown star shape in the middle has 7 points, representing the 7 chief islands in the South Atlantic excluding Big Island. The colour of the star represents the union the country has with the Earth, and the sturdiness (and sometimes stubbornness) of its people. The shuriken-like shape of the star represents how the people are willing to fight for what they've got, no matter how much it is. The Maroon border represents the country's close alliances with other nations in the Maroon team. The cyan and green lines just inside of this border represent the nation's relationship with the sky.

[edit] The Gale of August 14 2009

On August 14 of 2009, there were strong gale force winds around the island of Ica Mons - one of the most mountainous in the southern states, famous for it's glorious, picturesque, lightly coloured scenery. While flailing and flying in the wind trying to get home from the pedal biking championships in the capital of Ica Mons, named after the President's long lost lucky sock, Softie McFluffins, Kevin The Retired Clockmaker thought "Hey, it would be pretty dang awesome if that flag was darker - it's so light it looks dull in the scenery" while looking at the flag, which was also flailing and flying. He went home, told his wife who thought he was totally crazy, because it was talk like a pirate day and his wife didn't know. He said "Yarr! Wouldn't 't be awesome if that jolly roger be darker?"

His wife hit him over the head with a bottle of pizza sauce. His wife worked in the pizza-making business.

After being passed out on the floor, Kevin the Retired Clockmaker painted this, which was actually blood pouring from the poor man's head, but also pizza sauce from the bottle:

When his wife saw this, she said "This isn't a good flag.. let me have a go" which wasn't pirate. The cat was angry. She threw away the flag out of the window, and it happened to land in a postage truck. She then proceeded to have a go at painting a flag, which she took a photograph of and sent the painted flag to the President.

"This be a bloody awesome jolly roger! I must let it fly on the high seas!" the President said when he saw the red flag which was accidentally thrown in the postage truck.

The flag of the Japanese Empire became the flag of the Marjasian Islands for a whole 7 minutes, until the President opened more mail. "I came across a treasure map of some sorts" he said, confusingly.... "but there is not a trail in sight"

He showed the treasure map to his nameless advisor man "What do yethinks this is, Sir Nameless Advisor Man?"

"Methinks tis a awesomer version of our already super-awesome jolly roger, Sir" he said in his Old English accent.
"Yethinks so?"
"Methinks so."
"Hmm, I thinks you be right. It's sure awesomer than that red flag we just got."

And so the President made this flag the official flag of the Marjasian Islands.

[edit] Awesomestest Pizza Sauce Evar Has Been Found

Ye Newe Pizza Shoppe on Ica Mons has found the perfect pizza sauce.
The women who runs the shop, Flora theclockmaker'shusband (yes, that's her surname. srsly.), famous for making the new Marjasian Flag has discovered that pizza sauce which has been left on the native herb, the leaves of Awesomefruit, who's fruit looks like little happy faces, tastes very, very, very, very good. She said on Monday morning, "Wow, the word awesome has really been redefined! This happened by accident when I hit my husband over the head with this bottle, and some of the sauce fell on my herb collection." Someone outside randomly said, just then, "HAH! Who the hell collects HERBS?!"
The woman then said "I think I'll name it awesomesauce".
Foreigners, however, are still left in a daze over why we use awesome so much.

In other news, the foreign bottle making factory, Clearbottle, has stopped supplying bottles to the Federal States of Marjasia because they claim that their bottles are being used in assaults all over the country.